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The Princess Boob Shot July 9, 2004

“King Carl Gustaf of Sweden had enough and removed the pictures of his daughter Madeleine in the low-cut red dress from a Swedish website. The King of Sweden saw red when the website svenskaflickor.se published pictures from the Nobel gala in 2002 where Princess Madeleine was wearing a very low-cut dress, according to the Swedish paper Aftonbladet… The Swedish royal family has been harassed on the Internet for a long time. Last year, it became known that there are tons of fake porn pictures of Victoria and Madeleine on a hard-core porn site in Amsterdam. Some of the fake pictures allegedly illustrated the king having sex with his daughters.” — Nettavisen (Norway)

The other day PervScan was reading a book about Baudelaire. The book included a discussion of the poet’s “black venus,” his mulatto mistress, Jeanne Duvall. One of Baudelaire’s friends, the book mentioned, described Jeanne as “flat-chested,” while another actually raved (in print) about her “magnificent pectorals” or something to that effect. Which was it, the book wondered? Did Jeanne have tiny tits or big boobs? Referring to caricatures made by Baudelaire himself, which show Jeanne as amply proportioned, the book decided that she must indeed have had massive mammaries. The friend who had described her as flat-chested must have mis-remembered.

Reading this discussion, you couldn’t help but be struck by how crazy it was — speculating on the bra size of a relative nobody who died well over a hundred years ago. But then again, breasts are obviously the focus of obsessive energies, both for men and women. If we can allow ourselves to wonder about whether or not Byron was gay, why can’t we wonder whether Baudelaire enjoyed big tits? He did write a poem, after all, in which he fantasized about the body of a female giant.

Anyway, it’s a no-brainer to say that breasts are a big deal, whether they themselves are big or not. If the king has a hot daughter, as does King Carl Gustaf, she is obviously going to be a virtual fuckdoll in the masturbatory fantasies of a million Swedes. Whenever Princess Diana showed a little cleavage, she received a storm of (unwanted?) publicity. Why shouldn’t the same be true for the sexy Princess Madeleine?

Which is not to say you can’t blame King Carl Gustaf for getting ticked off. Most fathers probably don’t enjoy the thought of guys getting boob shots of their daughters. And maybe the cool thing about being a king is that you can force the local papers to stop publishing pictures of your daughter’s cleavage — but if that’s true, then the uncool thing about being a king must be that, in the age of the internet, you don’t have the jurisdiction to prevent other papers from publishing the same pictures. (Lookee here.)


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