PopTard

Michelle Rodriguez Dildo Fight October 8, 2008

Guests at the Mayfair Hotel and Spa in Coconut Grove, Florida were awakened brighten and early last Sunday by actress Michelle Rodriguez pounding on the door to her room and threatening to withhold sex toys from the inside occupant. Well, you know what they say — the early bird catches the, uh… dildo, I guess. An eyewitness told Rush and Molloy

“I woke up Sunday morning to the sounds of two women yelling, and one of them was smashing the door knocker very loudly. I peeked out and saw it was [Rodriguez]. She’s screaming, ‘Open up, let me in, [bitch]!’

The loud knocking continued for another five minutes, until [Rodriguez] hollered, ‘If you don’t open up, you’re not getting your [dildo] back.’ [That”s when] the door creaked open.”

It’s obvious Michelle Rodriguez has had experience in hostage situations, because the ol’ “Dildo Ploy” is favorite of negotiators. The ones who’ve dealt with me, anyway. When I’ve had too much to drink and locked one of my ex-husbands in the hall closet at gunpoint, threatening to take away my ten-inch Nubby Swirl Clit Popper calms me right the fuck down. As do pepper spray and neck restraints, but most people don’t carry that kind of stuff around on their person. Not unless they’re in uniform, anyway. Michelle’s decisive action clearly saved the day!

The hero at the Battle in Seattle Screening After party September 17th: