Is That An Oscar I Smell, Or Just Your Upper Lip? February 29, 2008
In what’s sure to be the short straw draw for the good folks over at Pajiba, singer-turned-actor Justin Timberlake sports a porn-cheese mustache and a bulging crotch for his role in the upcoming cinematic masterpiece “The Love Guru.” But wait — there’s more! According The Daily Mail
In the comedy, which also stars Mike Meyers and Jessica Alba, Justin plays athlete Jacque Grande who steals the wife of a star hockey player. Meyers plays a love guru called Pitka - an American raised outside of his country by gurus - who returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business.
The Love Guru will open in UK cinemas in July.
If they’d just thrown jessica simpson and Jack Black into the mix, “The Love Guru” could have probably ascended to the throne currently held by “Little Nicky” and “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.” It’s got all the key elements: hairy crotches, close-ups of the hairy crotches, Jessica Alba, and bulging hairy crotches. Did I mention the hairy crotches? Ha, ha! It’s funny because his swimming suit is really small, there’s a big bulge where the wiener is supposed to be, and he has a seventies’ mustache. I call that the “trifecta of comedy.” Years from now, this movie will be shown in lecture halls to aspiring film students murmuring aloud with wonderment. “Note the low-angle shot on the crotch!” the professor will say. “Dig deeper! Pubes, yes, good, good! We’ve barely scratched the surface!” That’s also probably about the time the super computers become self-aware and start harvesting our bodies for power. The future’s a pretty bleak place.
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