Fergie Offends On The Today Show May 21, 2008
I was up late last night drinking thinking, as I often do, and I got to wondering — how do I know that I’m not a computer? I mean, really know? The thing is — I don’t. But I figure if my existence were pieced together from a domain of ones and zeros, there’d at least be a way for me to edit out the wide-eyed seven year olds cowering in front of stage while Fergie skanked it up on the Today Show yesterday. The only time she even gets up off the floor is when she pulls herself to her knees to simulate oral sex on the guitar player. She could have finished up with R. Kelly hosing down the little girls in the front row and Roman Polanski tossing out handfuls of jelly-bean covered quaaludes and it still would have been a less offensive performance.
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