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Family Ties — Michael Lohan Style August 29, 2008

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Father of the year Michael Lohan has a television special in the works to publicly address all of ex-wife Dina Lohan’s “lies.” Just like the therapists recommend! He told TV Guide

“I’m going to do a one-hour special. Everyone is going to hear everything for themselves. They’re going to hear everything Dina has to say. I have it all on tape — all recorded, time and date-stamped. You will hear it all. I have 101 text messages between Lindsay and I, and I have about 60 tape recordings of Dina.

It might be broken up into parts, but it’s going to be done,” he said. “These lies have to stop. Dina’s a hypocrite and I’m tired of it. I’ve never taken or earned one penny from my daughter. Meanwhile, all the people around her, including her mother, are earning money off of her. They want publicity. They’re there for self-serving reasons.”

As far as I’m concerned, Samantha Ronson doesn’t exist. I’ve met her. She can’t even look in my eye. She knows I know what she’s all about… She’s controlling. Sooner or later, [Lindsay”s] relationship with Samantha will fall apart, and I’m sure Lindsay will come back someday and say, “Daddy, you were right all along” — just like she did with so many other people in her past. I’m not holding out hope. I know she will.”

Well, if that little display doesn’t usher him back into her heart, maybe he could try making a sex tape with Sam or trading Lindsay to OK! Magazine for a couple of magic beans and a donkey.

In a cheerleader’s outfit on the set of Ugly Betty: