S.S. Paris Hilton Bikini Bottom-Boob June 30, 2008
Paris Hilton’s sad little tits were squirmed their way out of her three-sizes-too-small bikini top ithis weekend, which I’m only posting because technically, it’s still bottom-boob. Granted, they’re attached to Paris fucking Hilton, which is the equivalent of me handing you a turd wrapped velvet or a syphilitic boil covered in glitter, but you aren’t supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth. I don’t know how you even could, anyway. It’s not like Sarah Jessica Parker is in any of these pictures or anything. Zing!
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Quickies: Takes One to Know One
Juliette Lewis mauls her birthday cake. (Websters)
Be careful what you wish for, Ali Lohan! (Jezebel)
The ladies’ take on the Stormtrooper boot — with heel! (Robotzilla)
Naomi Campbell and her ratty-ass extensions in a bikini. (CelebSlam)
Just like old times — Matt Damon and Ben Affleck go on a double date! (Celebitchy)
Angelina Jolie is everything you “Wanted” and more… (popbytes)
Supermodel takes a swandive off a 9th floor balcony and commits suicide. (Bricks and Stones)
Pictures of Jennifer Aniston pawing at John Mayer’s crotch. (Seriously? OMG)
Pamela Anderson calls jessica simpson a “bitch and a whore.” Hello, pot? It’s the big smelly whore calling. (Holy Moly!)
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Britney Spears Gets Crackin
It’s been a while since we’ve been forced to eyeball Britney Spears’ nether regions, so here you go. Nothing much has changed, really, although she seems to have sprouted a nice crop of crack hair in the last three months. I’m talking knit-a-sweater kind of crack hair. Or perhaps Spanish moss really is migrating South this summer, if you catch my drift! The ass crack. I’m talking about the ass crack here. Wasn’t sure that I was making that clear. What I mean is, she has a hairy crack. Yeah, subtlety is kind of my strong point. I’m kinda a wizard with words.
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Jennifer Aniston Keeps Watchful Eye on Mayer
Jennifer Aniston stalked snapped pictures of boyfriend John Mayer as he performed a the Hard Rock Calling Festival in Hyde Park on Saturday. According to Us Weekly
“Jennifer must have taken about 10 photos during Mayer’s set,” [says] a source. When Mayer exited the stage, Aniston “wrapped her arms around his neck.”
What do you want to bet those pictures end up in a shrine along with a lock of his hair, a gris-gris, and the womb of a white rabbit soaked in rainwater? Jennifer’s going to be pregnant by the end of the year. Mark my words, people.
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Sienna Miller Has Affair with Married Millionaire
Sienna Miller is busy playing homewrecker since dumping actor Rhys Ifans for ex-boyfriend Matthew Rhys — she’s now porking Balthazar Getty, a multi-millionaire oil heir with a family of four. According to The Mirror
Balthazar is married with four children. His furious wife is speaking to divorce lawyers. It is not yet known if Sienna will be named in any court papers. Balthazar secretly flew to London and Prague to be with her. She has spent last week in a Hollywood house with him. The pair have been holed up day and night with each other
“This behaviour is typical Sienna. She loves the power of being able to take a man off another woman,” says a friend of Matthew’s.
I don’t like to brag, but I’m well on the way to being a millionaire myself. And I didn’t even have to use my vagina to break up a happy home! All I had to do was deposit a check from this Kenyan whose uncle died and then send him back the wire fees. Not to mention I’ve already won the British International Lottery. Twice. And I’ve never even been to Engand! Can you believe that? I’ve already sent them my checking account and routing numbers; now I’m just waiting for the deposit. I guess I’m just what you folks might call “lucky!”
At “The Edge of Love” premiere in Scotland:
At the same premiere in London:
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Amy Winehouse Punches a Fan
Amy Winehouse was back in full force at Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday concert Friday night, but her Glastonbury performance the following day didn’t go quite as swimmingly. When Amy left the stage for the pit during a rendition of “Rehab,” she somehow ended up in a fistfight with a member of the audience. There are several theories as to the impetus behind the attack, including (via The Daily Mail ):
[1.] Crowd members claimed the singer lashed out in response to a derogatory comment about her husband Blake Fielder-Civil, after she spent much of the show making slurring references to ‘my Blakey’.
[2.] Her publicist said she had reacted instinctively when someone tried to pull her trademark beehive hairdo.
[3.] Festival organiser Michael Eavis’s version of events was that the man had made a grab at Miss Winehouse’s breasts.
Or 4) Amy Winehouse is fucking insane. Ding ding ding ding! She actually started off the concert by spitting her gum into the audience, berating their manners when they booed her precious Blake, and later singing “I’m not opening for a cunt like Kanye.”* She’s like the Patches O’Houlihan of live performing. You half expect her to belt out, “Is it ‘necessary’ to punch my fans in the face? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste!” before pelting the audience with a sackful of wrenches.
*Kanye West, presumably — video after the jump.
At Mandela’s birthday:
Glastonbury:
Fast forward to the 2:01 mark for the cuntiness:
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
S.S. Audrina Partridge in a Little Dress June 27, 2008
Boy, there isn’t a single part of “The Hills” Audrina Patridge that doesn’t just scream “fake.” The color of her skin, her tits, her teeth — all of it. I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that she was really made from parts of Bratz animatronics and old recycled tupperware.
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Quickies: Freaking Friday
How would Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz look if she were black and a slut? Now you know! (Best Week Ever)
Paris Hilton gives some of her whoring allocations to kids and then alerts the media of how generous she is. (Websters)
Uma Thurman gets engaged! (Hollywood Headache)
Coco’s implants need a little more work. (Hollywood Rag)
Rosario Dawson is back in a beautiful photoshoot. (Popoholic)
Charlize Theron attempts to single-handedly bring back the shoulder pad. (Style Critics)
Mini-Me sues TMZ over the sex tape clip. (The Blemish)
Nicky Hilton is so anorexic! (pretty boring)
Girl brings pole tricks to the escalator but keeps her clothes on. (Robotzilla)
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Amy Winehouse Stands Up Mandela Photocall
Amy Winehouse chose to go shopping for booze instead of showing up for the photocall for the Nelson Mandela concert in which she’s slated to perform tonight. According to the Daily Mail
Despite spending an hour-and-a-half in rehearsals for the Mandela concert [two days earlier], Winehouse was a no-show on Thursday. Instead she visited her husband Blake Fielder-Civil at London’s Pentonville Prison, before stopping off for some Jack Daniels and vodka and a packet of sweets.
Maybe the booze and the candy were an apology gift for her guaranteed-to-be shambolic performance tonight. Always one step ahead, that Amy!
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Madonna is Really Getting a Divorce
The Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce is definitely on, with Madonna reportedy upgrading to the same powerhouse attorney who represented Paul McCartney is his divorce from Heather Mills. The Times of London reports
Madonna is… seeking legal advice on a divorce from her husband of seven years. [Attorney] Fiona Shackleton has been lined up by the 49-year-old pop star. [Husband Guy] Ritchie is thought to have had dealings with a lesser-known Mayfair law firm.
Although rumors of a split have been swirling for almost a year now, what was the straw that broke the camel’s back? Besides her being an insufferable egotistical bitch, I mean? Perhaps it was Guy giving the finger to her precious Kabbalah. The Sun says
“Guy has turned his back on Kabbalah once and for all. He also became suspicious of all the Kabbalah crowd living off her money. He told her he doesn’t want anything else to do with it. It didn’t go down well.”
I guess dressing up in costumes for something that doesn’t involve sexual role play and downing $120,000 worth of blessed water a year gets old for a guy after a while. Not to mention that when they were first married, Madonna was technically still a woman. I’m pretty sure he could even press fraud charges if he wanted to.
Hard Candy press stills:
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Cameron Diaz Engaged
Cameron Diaz sparked engagement rumors yesterday after being photographed with a huge diamond ring on her wedding finger. According to the Daily Mail
The actress appeared to flash the dazzling ring at photographers as she left the Nobu restaurant in Santa Monica yesterday, indicating that her relationship with new beau Paul Sculfor may have taken a more serious turn.
So Cameron is possibly engaged to Jennifer Aniston’s ex (Paul Sculfor), and Jennifer Aniston is currently dating Cameron’s ex (John Mayer). You don’t usually get that kind of swapping action without a couple of eight year olds and a deck of Pokémon cards. Active cards: Cameron and Jennifer — Type: Poison; Hit points:6; Strengths: big nose; Weaknesses: desperation and insecurity; Evolution: actress. And no fair using Birthday Pikachu, either. Wizards of the Coast banned it from tournament play!
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Angelina Jolie Still Pregnant
In Touch Weekly managed to get a shot of an undeniably pregnant Angelina Jolie as she milled around outside their home in the south of France last weekend, refuting Entertainment Tonight’s claims that Angelina gave birth to the twins late last month. But don’t think that ET will be issuing an apology and a retraction anytime soon. According to Rush and Molloy
[Entertainment Tonight] remains unconvinced, claiming that the premature infants are being secretly cared for in a French hospital. “They’re waiting till the babies are bigger and stronger before they allow anyone to take their picture.
[The InTouch picture] may be a prosthetic tummy,” contends a source.
ET might be digging in with both heels here, but at some point they’re going to have to own up to their mistake and apologize. Fortunately, that’s why God invented karaoke machines and Chicago’s “Hard to Say I’m Sorry.” It’s come this close to saving my job more times than I can count!
Related Stories
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
S.S. Lisa Rinna in a Bikini June 26, 2008
A rainbow-bikinied Lisa Rinna frolicked in the waves on the beach in Malibu yesterday, and why wouldn’t she? Her whole fucking life is practically a vacation. It’s one of the many perks of playing pretend for a living, besides the money and the sense of entitlement. Not that I’m bitter or anything. See, I have my own ways of escaping reality. They’re called “World of Warcraft” and “grain alcohol.” Lisa Rinna can suck it!
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Quickies: Dog Days
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt give a million dollars to help children affected by war because they’re so much better than you. (Websters)
If they’re not divorcing, why are Madonna and Guy Ritchie staying in separate hotel rooms? (Celebitchy)
Pajiba classic week: “The Godfather.” (Pajiba)
Cameron Diaz’ septum must have deviated again, because it looks like she’s had another nose job! (CityRag)
Charlize Theron makes the black widow spider look like a fucking amateur. (Gabsmash)
Nelson Mandela puts the kibosh on Naomi Campbell! (Evil Beet)
Rachel Bilson panty peek! (Ninja Dude)
Matt Damon gets super-tubby and mustachioed for his latest movie role. (Ayyyy)
Mary-Kate Olsen in flannel looking STONED. (CelebWarship)
Scientists keep severed dog’s head alive! (Robotzilla)
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck Splitting?
The same source who told Ted Casablancas back in 2004 that Jennifer Garner was dumping Michael Vartan for Ben Affleck has more juicy Garner Gossip for us. According to The Awful Truth
Sources insist that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck. Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? And certainly, those who know the former Alias star well insist Ben’s mama has never particularly cared for [her].
Garner’s rep responded in kind, telling Us Weekly that “there was not one ounce of truth to it” and that it was “100% completely fabricated.” Kinda like an episode of “The Hills,” only more believable.
Jen leaving her home in Brentwood yesterday:
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Tim McGraw is a Badass
Country singer Tim McGraw spotted some fat bastard assaulting a woman in the front row of his Auburn, Washington concert Tuesday night and took care of business the Tennessee way — grabbing tubby by his belt buckle and hoisting him up onstage so security could forcibly eject him. Tim’s rep tells TMZ
“While Tim was performing last night, he watched a man rush to the front of the stage… [and] attack a female fan. Tim called for security, but when they could not respond quick enough Tim and several crew members removed the fan from the audience.”
Let this be a lesson to you all: you don’t fuck with people from from the South, and you especially don’t fuck with people from Tennessee. A big belt buckle and a cowboy hat are a nice touch, but if it’s fear and respect you want, let your co-workers know you hail from the Volunteer State. Trust me, it’s a lot easier than putting out a couple of cigarettes on your forerm and stabbing the guy from accounting at the company picnic. Gang initiations don’t seem to impress HR nearly as much as they do the Crips and Heather Locklear.
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Brooke Hogan Talks Daddy Ass-Rubbing
Brooke Hogan doesn’t understand all the hoopla over the photos of her dad, 54-year old Hulk Hogan, rubbing tanning oil on her ass on a family vacation. Brooke told Us Weekly
“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like [Dad”s] touching an old car. He used to change my diaper!”
And if that wasn’t disturbing enough — Daddy also likes to be on hand while she’s posing provocatively for shitty men’s magazines. According to Fox News
Hulk Hogan turned up to [Brooke”s] sexy magazine shoot for Maxim in April. [He said] that he came to supervise and ensure his baby girl didn’t flash too much flesh.
I can only think of a couple of instances where your father would need to touch your ass once you’ve entered adulthood. Ten instances, in fact. I made a handy list for you:
TOP TEN SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOUR FATHER TOUCHING YOUR ASS IS OKAY
10. You impaled yourself on an umbrella stand while at a Father-Daughter’s Day Picnic
9. You’ve passed out, and it’s the only part of you not covered in vomit and urine
8. There’s a bomb taped to your ass that requires dismantling before it can be safely removed
7. A genie offers to cure your mother’s cancer only if your Dad touches your ass
6. You’re the second tier and your father’s the base in a cheerleading pyramid
5. Father-Daughter ice-skating doubles competition
4. Terrorists
3. He’s legally blind and thought he was touching your face
2. There’s a horsefly the size of a kaiser roll on your ass and it’s going to bite you
and the number one situation in which it would be okay for your dad to touch your ass:
1. Johnny Depp is your father. Rowr!
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Mini-Me Has a Sex Tape
Because the power of Christ compels me: Mini-Me has a sex tape. TMZ says
Yes, that’s Mini-Me Verne Troyer in a sex tape shot with his former live-in girlfriend at the couple’s apartment. Dealer Kevin Blatt, who brokered the deal for Paris’ video, is entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD to distribute the nastiness.
Even Caligula and the donkey in the Tiajuana sex show would have been sickened by this. It’s one of those things you can’t un-see once you’ve seen it, like Two Girls, One Cup or Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
S.S. Katherine Heigl Bikini of Many Colors June 25, 2008
Katherine Heigl debuted yet another bikini while on her Mexican vacation this week — this one rainbow-striped, like Joseph’s coat of many colors in the book of Genesis. Unfortunately, this bikini doesn’t come with a dozen mutinous brothers or a gallon of goat’s blood, but don’t let that stop you. I bet we could still find an abandoned pit to throw her in if we looked hard enough. The tough part’s gonna be convincing the Midianite merchants she’s actually worth twenty whole shekels. We might want to toss in a camel and a coupe of jars of myrrh to sweeten the deal.
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Quickies: 2000 Flushes
More of Britney Spears NOT looking like a fatass in a bikini. (The Grumpiest)
Ali Larter looks positively alluring on the cover of Allure magazine. (The Blemish)
Supermodel Karolina Kurkova has cellulite and back fat! (Derek Hail)
Justin Timberlake is OCD and ADD and GAY. (Allie is Wired)
Heidi Montag craps out another single. (CelebSlam)
Brooke Hogan cuts off her mother. (Celebrity Smack)
Sienna Miller is a bra stuffer! (CelebNewsWire)
Japanese ad equates Barack Obama with a monkey to sell phones (Robotzilla)
Joe Francis is the wormiest, most insufferable piece of shit of the 22nd century. (Websters)
Third Rock From the Sun’s Kristin Johnson is anorexic! (popbytes)
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Britney Gets Overnight Visitation
Britney Spears’ custody restrictions were legally amended yesterday afternoon to allow her overnight visitation with her two sons again. Star Magazine says
It’s a victory for the new aunt, who’s been pushing for more time with her sons. Up until today, the boys — who live with their father, Kevin Federline — have only been seeing their mother three days a week from 9am to 5pm.
Britney showed up to court looking — dare I say it — almost… pretty. Her hair had been brushed and her shirt was stain-free and I think she was even wearing a bra, for Chrissakes. I just don’t know what to make of it. It’s like we’ve entered some crazy parallel universe where up is down and black is white and nothing makes sense anymore. Or as I like to call it, “sobriety.” Experts agree it’s totally overrated.
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Anne Hathaway’s Boyfriend Uses Catholic Church in Scam
It looks like Anne Hathaway pulled out of the relationship just in time, because things just went from bad to oh-shit-I’m-screwed for her ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri. The 29-year old Italian businessman is staring down 20 years in prison for posing as an agent of the Vatican in order to scam investors out millions of dollars. The 18-page indictment charges
Follieri boasted of meeting Pope Benedict and of being tapped as the Vatican’s number one man on U.S. real estate deals. He used investors’ money to hire a pair of monsignors… to [dress as] senior clergyman “to create the false impression that Follieri had close ties to the Vatican.”
Prosecutors say Follieri used the loot to live the high life with Hathaway. His luxury expenses included a $37,000-a-month apartment, tailor-made Italian suits and a $30,000 house call from his physician, who had to be flown in to London.
That’s why you never do business with Italians. It’s always “Some day — and that day may never come — I’ll call upon you to do a service for me” this and “You nothing but a-skin and bones-a! How come-a you no eat-a the canoli? Mama mia!” that. Unless you’re in the market for a couple of reams of chest hair or pizza and a hair cut, you’re better off just avoiding them altogether. Fortunately, you can usually smell them coming a mile away, so keeping your distance isn’t too hard.
Anne at the Australian premiere of “Get Smart”:
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Colin Farrell Drops 40 Pounds For Movie
Actor Colin Farrell has dropped a ton of weight for his upcoming role as a war photographer in the new movie “Triage.” According to The Daily Mail
Although he has lost as much as [forty pounds] for the Bosnian film, the 32-year-old looked every inch the Adonis with his long hair and sand-covered six-pack… as he jogged along the beach.
So Adonis lived under a bridge with AIDS and sucked dick for crack, did he? Funny, that’s not how I remembered it. My copy of “Guide to Greek Mythology” must be out of date.
P.S. Nice penis, Adonis.
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Heather Locklear Addicted to Pills
Heather Locklear announced yesterday that she was “seeking treatment for psychological issues,” which is of course just celebrity speak for “I can’t function without my happy pills.” Her PR glossed over her addicition issues, saying
“Heather has been dealing with anxiety and depression. She requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment.”
From the looks of these pictures, she let her boozing and doping get out of control trying to establish street cred with the Crips. West Side ’till she dies, mothafuckas!
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
S.S. Cheryl Burke In A Bikini June 24, 2008
From the right angle, Dancing With The Stars’ Cheryl Burke has an enviable hourglass figure. From wrong angle, it looks like she’s had one too many lumpia and one too few situps.
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah! | older posts »