‘Late Night’ Presents: ‘Conanfield’ [Short Ends] January 31, 2008
· NBC Universal”s Conanfield has reinvigorated the moribund monologue-monster-attack genre! A triumph! · The Bachelor“s most memorable season finale dumpee gets a second chance at fake-love. · Star Jones has been “rebranded” right out of a job. · Isabella Rossellini has moved on to bug porn. [via BoingBoing] · This year”s Super Bowl ads will be “gentle and sweet”; except, you know, for that one where Justin Timberlake gets repeatedly smashed in the junk.
2008 Oscars To Come In Fully-Loaded And Economy Models [Contingency Planning]
With the giant, overturned hourglass in the courtyard of the Hollywood & Highland complex trickling sand until its final grains pass through it at the strike of midnight on February 24, producers of the Oscars ceremony are continuing to stick to their pledge that come hell or high water, audiences looking for four-plus mind-numbing hours of premium trophy distribution won”t walk away disappointed:
The film academy is planning two Oscar shows: “The show we would love to do and … a show that we would prefer not to do,” [Academy president Sid] Ganis said.
The traditional, star-studded glamour-fest is in the works in case an agreement is reached. If not, organizers are working on a second show that will include “history and packages of film and concepts that are not normally ones that we would have for the show if we were moving straight ahead.”
An Academy spokeswoman says contact has been made with the WGA, so let”s just keep our fingers crossed that the ceremony will proceed as usual. God knows we don”t want the witness the alternative–just reading Ganis”s description of their backup plans instantly caused us to glaze over, tuning out about mid-sentence see what other Academy presidents were talking about on the internet today. Hey–Neil Portnow flew to Nashville to beg Vince Gill to show up to the Grammys! Neat!
The career-long battle between Jessica Alba’s … [Jessica Alba]
The career-long battle between Jessica Alba”s artistic ambition and the typecast-inviting good looks she knows are preventing her from becoming a Serious Actress rages on, with Alba once again issuing a public plea for someone, anyone to hand her some ugly-making prosthetics–a crooked nose, a suppurating sore, five extra eyes, whatever–and trust her to deliver their passion project to Oscar glory: “Most of all, Alba, who admires Charlize Theron”s Oscar-winning transformation in Monster, wants to be seen as a multifaceted actress who can take on any role. “I”m not really attached to my appearance,” she confesses. “I know I can get dressed up and look like something. But what”s more of a challenge is someone allowing you to play that role and letting you go there — having a director and writers believe in you. To do something where I got to just concentrate on the performance and discover, that”s the ultimate, as far as I”m concerned.”" [LAT]
Stylist To The Stars Phillip Bloch Requests That You Give His Grieving Clients Space At This Difficult Time [Counterpoint]
Like a pencil-moustached, beret-sporting fly on the wall of showbiz”s innermost circles, celebrity-stylist to the celebrity-stars Phillip Bloch possesses a formidable amount of insight into the Hollywood condition. So much so, in fact, that ABCNews.com has granted Bloch his very own opinion column, in which he can weigh in on any number of pressing celebrity matters, from the foot-anorexia epidemic currently ravishing young Hollywood”s emaciated tootsies, to his compelling treatise on how the death of gifting suites is hurtling our society towards freebieless anarchy.
In today”s installment, Bloch has finally had enough of the morose fascination the public takes in every celebrity tragedy to unfold across our TVs, computer screens, and bathroom magazine racks. “Are our own lives so empty and shallow that we must invade strangers” private lives for a little amusement?” asks the man whose position on the ongoing tucked vs. untucked and python vs. alligator debates directly affects the trickle-down trend choices of millions. But where searching moral questions are posed, no hard answers are offered, beyond that of an obscure Baudelaire quote reading, “What is exhilarating in bad taste is the aristocratic pleasure of OH MY GOD THIS BELT IS FAAABULOUS! MISCHA IS GONNA POOP HERSELF!”
- Celebs Ain”t Family, So Stop Caring So Much [ABCNews.com]
Airborne Toxic Event, 11th Hour, The Poisoning Of Beverly Hills [To Do]
· Music round-up: The Airborne Toxic Event and The Deadly Syndrome at Spaceland; Dengue Fever at Echoplex; Mark Olson (of The Jayhawks) & Mary Gaulthier at the Troubadour. · The 11th Hour screens at UCLA”s Korn Hall, in which Leo DiCaprio teaches you everything you ever wanted to know about global ecological disaster. · In other enviroterror-related events: at the Beverly Hills Public Library, Joy Horowitz, former LAT staff writer and author of Parts Per Million: The Poisoning of Beverly Hills, discusses about her discovery of the health effects of industrial drilling.
Pepsi Pays Justin Timberlake Rumored $2 Million To Undergo Painful Sterlization During Super Bowl [Free Advertising Dept]
This Sunday, as you may have heard, is the Super Game, wherein the NFL attempts to atone for whatever heinous crimes its players have committed over the preceding year by providing America with an action-packed, four-hour festival of the most creatively ambitious, highest-budgeted advertainments your favorite corporations have to offer.
Realizing that the public can”t possibility wait three more days to delight in the Hollywood-quality production in which they”ve obviously invested so much love, Pepsi has pre-debuted its 60-second mini-movie on the YouTubes, releasing blogspot-savvy fans from the agony of not knowing what Andy Samberg looks like in drag. Their marketing message, in our estimation, is both simple and effective: Our cola is so delicious that Justin Timberlake”s genitals must be tortured. Over and over again. Enjoy, then consume.
Bart Simpson, Scientologist, Says Keep Springfield Working! [Do The Bartman]
Now that we know the voice of Bart Simpson is a full-on “Clear” scientologist, we had to wonder what Bart would sound like were he played by the Clearest of All Clears: Mr. Tom Cruise! In this video mashup keenly edited together by Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer, our favorite yellow-haired toon turns from a loveable little menace whose tagline is “Don”t have a cow, man” to an eerie little OT in-training who abides by the mantra “Anything LRH does.” We can”t help but wonder what would”ve gone down had the little guy had had the powers of Xenu with him during that climactic final scene in The Simpsons Movie. We imagine that Bart, embiggened with the energy of the alien king, could have extracted the entire family from the Springfield bubble himself, saving Homer all those motorcycle-induced scrapes and bruises.
Denise Richards Unsurprisingly Voted ‘Worst Bond Girl’ Of All Time [Bond Bombs]
Poor flipper-footed Denise Richards just can”t catch a break. Following news that ex Charlie Sheen is trying to halt production of what could well become the apex of the washed-up celeb-centric reality show genre, Richards” bad luck streak continues with news that her performance as Dr. Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough was just voted the Worst Bond Girl of All-Time by Bond”s horndoggiest fans.
While the honor of best Bondette went to Ursula Andress for her portrayal of Honey Ryder in Dr. No, we are shocked (shocked!) that Halle Berry didn”t find her way into either the Best or Worst Top Ten List. How soon the Bond nerds forgot the way Halle worked that orange bikini! And as for Denise”s misfortune, we place the blame squarely on the shoulders of World”s casting directors Debbie McWilliams and Harika Uygur. While many dudes paid good money to see Denise take on the challenging role of a bi-curious high school student with a penchant for popping her top, casting her in the role of a nuclear physicist probably wasn”t the greatest decision you ever made.
- DENISE RICHARDS VOTED WORST EVER BOND GIRL [Daily Mail]
Deconstructing The Britney Crazy: The Tweaker Question [Toxic]
While rumors of Britney Spears” addiction to crystal meth have been swirling through the blogowebs for a few months now, two papers are now claiming last night”s gurney shitshow happened after the fallen star spent days wide awake on Fergie”s pre-hab drug of choice. The National Enquirer is reporting that Britney and manager Sam Lufti checked into the Beverly Hills Hotel at 2am on Wednesday morning after sporting around in the brand-new Mercedes she picked up earlier that day. Upon checking into the hotel:
[Britney] began doing meth … Her drug-taking went on all day, interrupted only by brief dashes to her home.”
This disturbing news comes on top of a story printed in The Sun this morning, which quoted an anonymous US newspaper as saying that:
Britney was high on meth and naked all day before. She took meth during her pregnancies. The star spent Tuesday evening driving around before donning a pink wig to go to a drug store at 5am.”"
A photo (above) from X17 seems to support some of the details (if not the entirety) of the entire story, showing a sunglasses-wearing Spears in the aforementioned pink wig, carrying a case of Red Bull out of a drugstore in the wee hours of the night. We can only pray Britney gets the help she needs before half of Studio City is obliterated in a McMansion-sized-meth-lab explosion.
[Photo Credit: X17]
- BRITNEY IN CRYSTAL METH CLAIMS [The Sun]
- METH BINGE LED TO BRITNEY HOSPITALIZATION [The National Enquirer]
Upset Actors Let ‘ET/Insider’ Know That Running Heath Ledger Video Could Lead To Immediate Red Carpet Embargos [Noble Threats]
According to ABCNews.com, a coalition of arm-twisting publicists and sympathetic, outraged actors including Natalie Portman, Sarah Jessica Parker, Josh Brolin and Ellen Page were behind a campaign that persuaded ET and The Insider not to air their $200,000 video revealing that Heath Ledger stood in the same Chateau Marmont bungalow as some cocaine following the 2006 SAG Awards.
Exerting pressure by calling the producers of the two CBS Paramount programs, Portman and company were successful in convincing them to think long and hard before airing the footage; apparently, their not-so-veiled threats to never again allow Cojo and a camera crew to accompany them to their future pedicures or Robertson Blvd shopping sprees proved too potentially crippling to their fluff-segment interests to ignore, resulting in yesterday”s unexpected announcement that the shows had suddenly discovered a newfound concern for how the video might affect Ledger”s grieving family.
- Stars Pressure TV Shows to Nix Ledger Drug Video [ABC News]
- Previously: “ET” /”The Insider” Pay Large Amount Of Money For, Then Slowly Back Away From Alleged Heath Ledger Drug Video [Defamer]
Vince Vaughn Leaves Arclight Via Parking Structure Exit [Hollywood PrivacyWatch]
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often–the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “sighting” or “PrivacyWatch” in the subject line so we don”t lose them) and tell everyone about how your spotting of Jimmy Fallon confirmed everything you always suspected about what his hair might look in person.
In today”s episode: Vince Vaughn; Dustin Hoffman; Orlando Bloom; Brad Pitt; Cee-Lo; Gary Oldman; James Marsden and Ron Livingston; James Cromwell; Gary Busey; Matt Leinart; Wanda Sykes; Jason Schwartzman and Zooey Deschanel; Bill Maher, Will.I.Am, Patti LaBelle, and Roger Cross; Loni Anderson; Diablo Cody; Vivica A. Fox; Adrian Grenier; Matisyahu; Amanda Seyfried; Jimmy Fallon; Marcia Cross; Marg Helgenberger; Ellen Pompeo; Kelly Lynch; Joshua Malina; and Shane West.
· Jan 30 - Vince Vaughn was leaving the Arclight parking lot at the EXACT SAME TIME as me… (Sunday night) I guess US Weekly was right. Celebrities are just like us!
· I saw Dustin Hoffman eating breakfast at Coral Tree Cafe in Brentwood Sunday morning (1/27). Unlike most actors, he seemed taller in person…
· Orlando Bloom at the Black Rebel Mortorcycle club show at Safari Sam”s on 1/25
· 1/17 [Ed. note: This one seems to have slipped through the cracks. Sorry for the delay.] spotted cee lo at the hollywood and highland american apparel, buying size xl jackets and hitting on the girl who was ringing him up. heard something to the effect of, “have you ever dated a famous rapper?” also- old news, but spotted brad pitt on the 12th or 13th walking into katsuya on hollywood blvd. gorgeous in person and for once, i was a little starstruck about seeing tyler durden IRL.
· While waiting in the pouring rain to get into Avalon around 10:15 p.m. on Saturday (01/26), a parade of upscale folks were exiting some sort of private event. Among them was a man in glasses who looked suspiciously like Gary Oldman. He was with three people, including an attractive brunette, and as he walked by me I heard the distinctive British accent which confirmed his presence. His group ran down Vine into the rain sans umbrella, and I wondered why don”t we see more of him outside of Harry Potter movies?
· Saturday lunch at the cafe at American Rag, saw Ron Livingston walk in and have a leisurely lunch with his girlfriend, then spotted James Marsden (separately) at a table outside, playing with his iPhone, brunching with a girl, and talking about awards season.
· James Cromwell of BABE/QUEEN/24 fame dining with a similarly aged woman at Art”s Diner in Studio City for lunch on 1/29.
· 1/22/08 Noonish, at the Staples in West LA. Gary Busey, looking just as crazy as he did on Entourage, grumbling to a cashier about the WGA strike, “I can”t wait till it”s over, so I can just get back to work you know?” He then did a few awkward spins in the aisles, maybe looking for divine intervention. Don”t think he found it.
· 1/25, noon-ish. I see a tall, typical Westside frat boy type dude walking out of the Beverly Glen Deli. But then the glaring wardrobe choice made me aware there was a celebrity in my midst: NFL quarterback Matt Leinart, sporting a red Arizona Cardinals sweatshirt. Is that part of his contract or something? But in hindsight, I give Leinart kudos for not rocking the Tom Brady metrosexual look. Gisele dresses Tommy like he”s a cast member of THE HILLS.
Later that afternoon, at the Ralphs on Ventura and Coldwater, Wanda Sykes intensely perusing the produce section. Except for some Kettle Chips, Wanda”s cart was jammed packed with fruits and veggies. That”s right, I looked.
· It”s a little late, but on Sat 1/19 I saw Jason Schwartzman at RFD on La Cienega. He had longish (chin length) hair and a terrible 70″s porn star mustache. He was with Zooey Deschanel and a couple of random hipsters.
· Bill Maher had a really fun weekend. He attended the Crustacean 10th anniversary party on Fri night in BH, where I saw him dragging that dark curly-haired girlfriend of his up the stairs to the VIP balcony area and rocking out to the unannounced performances by Will.I.Am and the high-voiced guy from Earth Wind & Fire and Patti LaBelle (girlfriend looks great for 63!). Also, Curtis from 24 (RIP, Roger Cross) was there. Then Sat night Bill took in the Fab Faux show at the Avalon, where I again saw him dragging his lady, this time toward the exit. He doesn”t strike me as a Beatles guy, maybe he likes that two band members play in late-night talk show bands.
· Wednesday 1/16 - Loni Anderson at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, looking more and more like Wayland Flower”s “Madam.”
· Yes, Diablo Cody is just like us - like me, anyway: shopping at the WeHo Target on a rainy Sunday (1/27) morning, though she seemed a little less familiar with the store layout than I. I probably wouldn”t have noticed her had it not been for her leopard print coat and knee socks wardrobe. The socks were SERIOUSLY fugly - grey and pink plaid. Can”t wait to see what kind of quirkiness she”ll be sporting to the Oscars…
· I was in Long Beach on Sunday (1/27) to visit Star Trek: The Tour at the Queen Mary dome. Geeky? You bet. But the woman I ran into at the box office (and saw inside) was actually wearing pointed ears and Vulcan eyebrows! They weren”t enough to disguise the beautiful Vivica A. Fox, however, who looked to be having a great time with some friends. Live long and prosper, Viv!
· Jan 28 - A rare non-Los Feliz/SL area Adrian Grenier sighting last week: our twin silver Priuses (silently) hummed along side by side in Bev Hills. I let him in to make a right turn; my driving good graces would not have been extended had he been driving a Porsche or SUV.
At Murano, where the alter kaker gray haired set and the younger gays mix on west Melrose, my friend and I were utterly shocked when we spotted a group of Orthodox Jewish guys coming into the lounge to celebrate some party girl”s birthday. Maybe it”s our own internalized anti-Semitism at work, but weird and unprecedented for me to see Orthodox people in that sort of context. So it made a little more sense when we figured out afterward that a long bearded dude in the group was former-Chasidic-but-still-Orthodox-quasi-reggae singer Matisyahu. Talk about a confusing zig zagging social juxtaposition. Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Veronica”s dead bestie Lilly on V. Mars, and Big Love) was wandering the aisles of Mayfair today (1/28).
· Jan 31- I”m having breakfast Saturday at Clementine”s and in walks Jimmy Fallon with a woman I assume is his wife/girlfriend/future wife. I believe she”s one of the gals from D. Barrymore”s company. Anyway, there was also a short guy with them - not sure of his story. And Fallon was wearing black jeans. And his hair looked just as I suspected it might if I were to ever see him in person.
· Marcia Cross (sans makeup!) and hubby escaping the rain at the Bigg Chill frozen yogurt on Olympic & Westwood on Saturday night.
· Tuesday, Jan 29 around lunch time, Marcia Cross shopping at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills with a woman with the same bright orange hair, which was just a coincidence, I think the other reddy worked there. Marcia in jeans and no makeup actually did not look scary like one might expect.
· Yesterday 1/29/08, spotted stripper turned CSI Katherine (Marg Helgenberger) in the valet area of Century City Medical Plaza/Hospital. She was wearing Ugg boots like every other female in at least a two mile radius (myself included). Sparkly beautiful huge rock on her finger. Nice sparkly car too. She was chewing her gum very hard and loudly either to a) get people to not talk to her or b) get herself noticed, I couldn”t quite figure out which one.
· 1/24/08 - lunch hour: Ellen Pompeo and husband grocery shopping at the Fairfax Whole Foods. Eat, Meredith, eat. It”s good for you.
· Kelly Lynch at Mustardseed, Saturday 1/26. She seemed to be friendly with the staff so maybe a regular though I”ve never seen her there before.
· Wanting to get my high protein burrito on at howdy”s in the malibu country mart today, I spied a even-more-handsome-in-person former jed bartlett speech writer, current “big shots” philanderer (did anyone even watch that show?), joshua malina. he was working the still-on-strike-5:00-shadow and really was quite good looking.
· Jan 29 - Shane West at Jumpin” Java in Studio City.
Quickies: The Nanny Diaries
Christina Aguilera’s baby is worth more in utero than out. (Jossip)
Ellen Pompeo’s headlights are on. (CelebSlam)
Dr. Phil still owes money people money. (Pretty Boring)
Hayden Panettiere sucks. Literally. (Tasteful Celebs)
Rihanna’s mustachioed Got Milk ad. (Hollywood Headache)
Ethan Hawke knocks up the help. (About: Celebrity Gossip)
“Oprahtastic” = “All hips and saggy tits.” (Websters)
Seriously, though, how gay is ‘Top Gun?’ (City Rag)
Name That Celebrity: “stumbling into the woods and talking to the trees” edition. (Holy Moly!)
Midnight in the Garden of good and sexy! (Goldenfiddle)
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
TV Audiences 23 Percent Less Interested In Fox Lie Detector Show Than Last Week [Trade Roundup]
· 2008″s January box office is up 18% over last year, thanks to both newly released, pump-and-dump triumphs like Cloverfield and steadier earners holding over from December, like National Treasure and the Chipmunks movie. [Variety] · Fox”s still-disappointing Moment of Truth (current number of lives ruined by the televised revelation of their past sins: 0) falls off sharply from last week”s huge premiere numbers, but still finished behind only American Idol on the night. [THR] · Where in the world is Oscar-nominated U.N. messenger of peace George Clooney? At U.N. headquarters, trying to convince headshot-wielding staffers to let him put down his Sharpie long enough to fill them in on the atrocities he just witnessed in Darfur. [Variety]
· Flight of the Conchords” Jemaine Clement signs on for Gentlemen Broncos, a new comedy by Napoleon Dynamite“s Jared Hess; sadly, there appears to be no part for troubadour-roomie Bret McKenzie, disappointing news slightly softened by word of Sam Rockwell”s involvement in the project. [THR] · Paul Haggis and partner Michael Nozik have parked their new Hwy61 Films production company at United Artist, where the studio”s interim agreement with the WGA will allow the shingle”s heavy-handed™ projects to zip along through the development process unimpeded by the strike. [Variety]
Two-Face Ready For His ‘Dark Knight’ Close-Up; Prefers You Shoot Him From The Right [Marketing]
Many, including us, have been wondering out loud how Warner Bros. plans on addressing the unique (and thankfully so) marketing problem currently facing The Dark Knight: Namely, what to do about a campaign that took fiendish pleasure in showcasing Heath Ledger”s singularly bleak and twisted take on iconic Batman villain the Joker. Slate now reports that the studio”s plan, in place since the beginning but perhaps being ushered in more hastily since the actor”s death, is to shift the focus over to the film”s other featured villain:
Warner is likely to alter some of its marketing campaign, which featured Ledger”s image in the early going. A source close to the project says the plan all along was to start with the Joker and then segue to the image of Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face. In the film, Two-Face is in a love triangle with Rachel Dawes, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Indeed, Two-Face”s significance to the movie”s plot was highlighted less than two weeks before Ledger”s death, when director Christopher Nolan told the LAT, “Harvey Dent is a tragic figure, and his story is the backbone of this film. The Joker, he sort of cuts through the film — he”s got no story arc, he”s just a force of nature tearing through. Heath has given an amazing performance in the role, it”s really extraordinary.” With Knight capitalizing on not just the talents of Ledger and Eckhart, but also the chillingly effective Cillian Murphy back as the Scarecrow, this latest Batman installment promises to pit the Caped Crusader against the most formidable consortium of Gotham-based baddies since Uma Thurman slinked around in a leaf-covered catsuit and Gov. Schwarzenegger made a series of incomprehensible threats involving sub-zero temperatures.
Reacting late last night on Daily Kos to … [Montel Williams]
Reacting late last night on Daily Kos to the news that daytime TV”s Montel Williams Era was coming to an abrupt end, Brandon Friedman speculates that a recent Fox News Channel appearance, in which the former Marine decried his hosts” obsession (and, to be fair, that of the entire American media) with covering Heath Ledger over the Iraq war, might have had something to do with his show”s whacking, as a non-renewal by a number of Fox-owned stations contributed to its demise: “Three minutes into this awkward segment on Fox, one host cut off Montel in order to go to a commercial. Montel did not return after the break. Four days later, after 17 years as a television host, Montel lost his job.” There”s more to the argument than that pullquote (he has video, and also readily recognizes that Montel might have already known his show”s fate and decided to “cut loose”), but we”ll end there to fuel conjecture that somewhere, a displeased Rupert Murdoch whispered to a lackey, “I want his career buried deeper than that instigator Sally Jesse Raphael”s.” [Daily Kos]
Report: Panicked Universal Turns To Brett Ratner To Save ‘The Wolf Man’ [Desperation Moves]
It seems that when we briefly mused about a scenario in which curiously hacky hired-gun Brett Ratner might be called upon to take over The Hobbit franchise by a panicked New Line, we regrettably attached the director to the wrong combination of pants-soiling studio and destabilized hairy-protagonist project. Following Mark Romanek”s recently announced departure from The Wolf Man, a desperate Universal, perhaps seeking a collaborator with whom “creative differences” will never be a problem as long as a large enough paycheck is signed, will ask Ratner to step in and render his predecessor”s original vision unrecognizable, according to Ain”t It Cool News:
Well word has reached me, from an incredibly reliable source - that you”ve settled on Brett Ratner as the director. With the work that Romanek, Baker and Benicio have done - I have no doubt that Brett will capture enough magic to assemble a trailer campaign that will sell the film. But you really need much more than a trailer. […]
Brett Ratner makes watchable films. Movies that go through your system as if consumed off a soapy plate. They”re empty - hollow works. He”s a terrible ACTOR”s director. His basement is a disco, and the Wolfman has no disco in his soul. This is a PERIOD film - to make a convincing period film you need a director for an eye for details… Someone that knows this world and period. X3 was a financial success - but that was based on an incredibly successful franchise by Singer. Ratner killed it. Made the WORST FILM OF THE SERIES - and Fox sold it brilliantly. Dare to make the great film. STOP. Find a different director… please.
With the production reportedly scheduled to begin in March, Universal”s options must have been tragically limited, necessitating the choice of a director who”s previously proven that even with precious little lead time, he can show up on set minutes before cameras are ready to roll and collect enough footage to produce one of his signature, incomprehensible masterworks that will go on to simultaneously break box office records and bring to an end any hopes of sustaining a franchise. And AICN shouldn”t fret too much about this misconception that Ratner”s not an “actor”s director”; we”re sure that after a last-minute pre-production party at Hillhaven Lodge”s legendary disco, both Benicio del Toro and Anthony Hopkins will be more than willing to buy into their new helmer”s program, impressed at the filmmaker”s openness to the surprisingly insightful notes offered by the “script coordinators” providing their story-meeting lap-dances.
- UNIVERSAL - IF YOU LET RATNER DIRECT THE WOLF MAN YOU”LL DESERVE THE TURD YOU”LL END UP RELEASING ON SCREEN!!! [AICN]
- Previously: Mark Romanek Quits “The Wolf Man” Over Creative Werewolf Differences [Defamer]
That’s Mayor Brangelina To You
Brad Pitt is reportedly through with acting and gearing up to enter the political arena. Probably because Angelina told him to. The Daily Mail says
Sources in the Democratic Party say he has been approached to run for mayor of New Orleans. His decision to follow into politics would certainly explain the couple’s decision to buy a £2million home in the disaster-hit Louisiana city.
He has hired his own “philanthropic adviser” Trevor Neilsen, who worked for President Clinton’s Washington administration, to boost his humanitarian credentials and set up his own “Make It Right” campaign to build ecohomes in New Orleans’ Ninth Ward.
To think — a marshmallow running the “Chocolate City.” Now that’s unexpected! The hardest thing about that would be deciding which dark-skinned immigrant group got to be the graham cracker crust in your delicious racial metaphor. My pick? The Kurds.
Original Article syndicated via RSS from Yeeeah!
Ratings-Obsessed Quack Dr. Phil Tells ‘The Early Show’ He Was Only Motivated By Britney’s Welfare [Defending Your Practice]
Are we going soft if we”re starting feel a little badly for Mr. Phil? The guy answers one frantic phone call from a family in need, then instantly jumps to action, gathering a handful of tongue depressors, a non-functioning stethoscope, and a camera crew before rushing bedside to treat their daughter”s Fake British Accent Disorder. He then innocently offers his frank assessment of her condition to Paramount TV syndie-cousin ET.
Next thing you know, he”s making all the necessary stops on the publicity circuit, forced to explain why he chose to so flagrantly disregard the Hypocritical Oath he took upon graduating from fake-doctor school. Appearing today on The Early Show, Phil (whose moustache, according to the chyron above, has been cleared by animal control of all racoons and opossoms and is ready for action), reiterates that he always had Britney Spears”s best interests at heart–unlike those other “vultures” in the media. Not to mention that lady with the lesbian hairdo currently hosting CBS”s eternally third-placed morning program!
- The Early Show [CBS]
‘Cloverfield’ Sequel Offers Fans Hope Of A Steadycam-Sized Budget [Building A Franchise]
Perhaps scared off by the litany of physical side effects rattled off at triple-speed towards the end of its TV spots, audiences abandoned Cloverfield in droves in its second weekend at the box office. Still, before moving on to their next Ken Davitian-in-nipple-jewelry obsession, fickle entertainment consumers managed to cement its status as the biggest January opening, like, ever. Which means, of course, that a sequel is already in development:
Matt Reeves is in early talks with Paramount to direct a “Cloverfield” sequel…Timing of the projects will depend on how quickly Paramount can complete discussions with Reeves, producer J.J. Abrams and scribe Drew Goddard to scare up another monster tale for the “Cloverfield” sequel.
Right out of the gate, C2: Rise of Those Things in the Subway Tunnel is facing both advantages and disadvantages relative to its predecessor: On the one hand, it won”t be able to capitalize on the months of teasing marketing-foreplay that helped turn its opening weekend into such a climactically satisfying experience for Paramount. That said, it can still capitalize on steel-stomached franchise devotees to show up, to say nothing of the quickly-growing fanbase of sole returning cast member T.J. “Hudd” Platt, who”d pay to hear him read the phonebook, just so long as he did it really shakily and injected bonehead commentary along the way for comic relief.
- Paramount sows “Cloverfield” sequel [Variety]
‘Cloverfield’ Sequel Offers Fans Hope Of A Steadicam-Sized Budget [Building A Franchise]
Perhaps scared off by the litany of physical side effects rattled off at triple-speed towards the end of its TV spots, audiences abandoned Cloverfield in droves in its second weekend at the box office. Still, before moving on to their next Ken Davitian-in-nipple-jewelry obsession, fickle entertainment consumers managed to cement its status as the biggest January opening, like, ever. Which means, of course, that a sequel is already in development:
Matt Reeves is in early talks with Paramount to direct a “Cloverfield” sequel…Timing of the projects will depend on how quickly Paramount can complete discussions with Reeves, producer J.J. Abrams and scribe Drew Goddard to scare up another monster tale for the “Cloverfield” sequel.
Right out of the gate, C2: Rise of Those Things in the Subway Tunnel is facing both advantages and disadvantages relative to its predecessor: On the one hand, it won”t be able to capitalize on the months of teasing marketing-foreplay that helped turn its opening weekend into such a climactically satisfying experience for Paramount. That said, it can still capitalize on steel-stomached franchise devotees to show up, to say nothing of the quickly-growing fanbase of sole returning cast member T.J. “Hudd” Platt, who”d pay to hear him read the phonebook, just so long as he did it really shakily and injected bonehead commentary along the way for comic relief.
- Paramount sows “Cloverfield” sequel [Variety]
‘ET’ /’The Insider’ Pay Large Amount Of Money For, Then Slowly Back Away From Alleged Heath Ledger Drug Video [Annals Of Dinnertime TV Compassion]
An allegedly shocking video of Heath Ledger attending a “Hollywood drug party” (or as such an event is more commonly referred to in Los Angeles, “a party”) at the Chateau Marmont following the 2006 SAG awards, which may prove conclusively that the recently deceased actor has been in the same room as cocaine and may have discussed his own chilling marijuana use, has surfaced.
Australia”s Channel 9 will reportedly air the footage tonight, but relentlessly scrupulous American celebrity newsmagazine shows ET and The Insider, despite having paid a rumored $200,000 for rights to the clip and having teased their expensive exclusive yesterday, have announced that they won”t run “the video which has been circulating in the world media” (read: devalued) “out of respect” (read: probably not that good anyway) for Ledger”s family; not only should this compassionate decision serve to alleviate any residual guilt over their six-figure impulse buy, but it will spare Insider host and noted Hollywood party-goer Pat O”Brien from having to feign dismay about what actually takes place at these depraved show-business bacchanals. The above Insider clip shows one of the aforementioned teases; inevitably, Celebrity Rehab“s Dr. Drew makes a cameo, offering his trademarked basic-cable-addiction-specialist compassion in response to the breaking news.
- Heath Ledger caught on drug tape [NY Daily News]
- “ET” and “The Insider” Will Not Run Heath Ledger Video [ETOnline.com]
Britney Spears, Code Name ‘The Package’, Rushed To Hospital As GurneyGate 2.0 Unfolds Overnight [Gurney Gate 2.0]
Oh dear. For those of you who actually sleep at night, you missed a whopper of an evening at the Spears household. After Britney”s newly assigned psychiatrist visited her at her house in the early evening, he found her condition and recent antics so dismal, he contacted the LAPD in an attempt to have her officially committed to UCLA Medical Center — a plan that TMZ reports was “days in the making”. What followed was an all-night is-she-or-isn”t-she-sane frenzy, the timeline of which we”ve etched out for you after the jump:
7:30pm: Britney”s new shrink visits Britney with Lynne Spears in tow, launching rumors (as reported by Page Six) that he rushed to her house because she”d attempted to commit suicide (these rumors have since been debunked.) 11pm: The LAPD arrive at Britney”s mansion. Police were reportedly instructed to refer to Britney as “The Package.” 12am: Ambulances arrive to transport Britney, once again strapped into a gurney, to UCLA Medical Center. 2am: Just like in GurneyGate 1.0, Britney is held at the hospital on yet another 5150-Crazycakes-Alert. 4am: After doctors” examinations, the LAPD confirms to TMZ that Britney has been ordered to remain in the hospital for a “three day psychiatric hold” under supervision. But in the same breath, TMZ reports that the stay will likely to be extended to 14 days. 5am: US Weekly issues a report that Spears hasn”t slept since Saturday, adding substance to the shrink”s quick decision to send her to the hospital ASAP.
Phew. Did you get all that?
[Photo Credit: X17]
Paris Hilton And Elisha Cuthbert Make Out
Britney Spears has been getting an awful lot of attention lately, so Paris Hilton decided to swing the limelight her way with a fake lesbian make-out session with “House of Wax” co-star Elisha Cuthbert. Page Six says
Revelers at Tenjune in the Meatpacking District Tuesday night spotted Paris making out with “24″ star Elisha Cuthbert. “They were drinking and dancing, and all of suddenly they just started kissing,” said the onlooker who told us the liplock lasted “about a minute.” Cuthbert’s rep denies the story, although several witnesses confirmed they saw the face-suck.
That’s one of those things that sounds sexy until you get up close. Sorry, but those two are just gross. Paris Hilton looks like a combination of the Goon from Popeye and claymation Gumby and Elisha Cuthbert might as well be my seventh grade gym teacher with that haircut. It’s just like that time I rented this flick called “From Pole to Pole” and ended up with a documentary about the Earth’s inconstant magnetic field instead of the penis-fest I was expecting. Needless to say, I won’t be hitting up PBS for porn anymore. That goes double for the Discovery Channel and TLC. “Wild Down Under” my ass.
Paris arriving at the TRL Tuesday and Elisha shopping at Bristol Farms over the weekend:
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Heath Ledger Cocaine Video
Celebrity news programs “Entertainment Tonight” and “The Insider” purchased exclusive rights to a cell phone video of Heath Ledger snorting cocaine at a Screen Actors Guild Awards party two years ago. According to Page Six
The footage, which was bought for $200,000, was shot without Heath’s knowledge at the Chateau Marmont hotel on January 29, 2006. In the video, Heath is shown talking while at a private party after sniffing a cocaine-like substance off a table with a rolled up bill in his hand. As he speaks, his face noticeably twitches. Heath says, “I’m gonna get so much shit from my girlfriend. We have a baby together… Matilda, Matilda Rose.”
ET and The Insider released a statement warning the media that they would be subject to lawsuits and fines should they choose to air the video:
THIS IS TO ADVISE YOU THAT ET AND THE INSIDER HAVE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS IN AND TO PROPRIETARY MATERIALS OF HEATH LEDGER AT THE CHATEAU MARMONT ON APPROXIMATELY JANUARY 29, 2006
ANY BROADCAST OR USAGE OF THIS MATERIAL IN ANY MANNER NOT AUTHORIZED SHALL CONSTITUTE AN INFRINGEMENT AND VIOLATION OF ET AND THE INSIDER’S VALUABLE EXCLUSIVE AND PROPRIETARY RIGHTS AND WILL CONSTITUTE INFRINGEMENT AND TORTIOUS INTERFERENCE BY THE INFRINGER, EXPOSING THE INFRINGER TO SUBSTANTIAL MONETARY DAMAGES.
And that’s when the producer dipped a fountain pen inside the hole where his heart used to be, signed his name in blood and handed the devil an “I.O.U. — One Soul.” Well-done, tabloid journalism!
UPDATE: ET and The Insider have decided NOT to air the video due to public response.
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Britney Hospitalized — Again
This again. Sigh.
Last night, Britney’s new psychiatrist teamed up with her lawyers and “manager” Sam Lufti and phoned the cops as part of their plan to have Britney committed to UCLA Medical Center on a 51501 hold. Britney reportedly had not slept since last Saturday. TMZ says
Before the cops arrived, the shrink told her she was going back to the hospital and she offered no resistance. She said, “Is something wrong?” She made hot chocolate and waited. Her mom, Lynne, got extremely agitated, accusing Sam of engineering the impending commitment. We’re told Brit told her to “shut the hell up.” She demanded silence, sat on the floor and wrote notes to people who were there as they waited. When emergency personnel arrived, Brit went on the gurney without resistance.
There is now a dogfight between Britney’s family and Sam Lutfi over who will make medical decisions, however, that fight is now put on hold because the judge now makes the call.
Sources tell us… the plan was for cops and paramedics to take Britney away the night before, but it was scrubbed. Last night, it all went down according to plan. And we’re told the plan was so intricate the FAA had cleared airspace in route to the hospital. Cops even used code to minimize craziness in transporting Britney. Over the police radio, she was referred to as “The Package.”
I’m told the cops went with “The Package” because “Beefcake,” “The S.S. Batshit” and “Boils McCrazyton” were just too obvious.
15150 is a section of California’s Welfare and Institutions Code which allows a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a person deemed a danger to himself, herself, and/or others for up to 72 hours from the time the declaration is written. Not to be confused 5150, the seventh album by Van Halen released in 1986 with Sammy Hagar on lead vocals.
No pictures of her gurneyed up just yet, so enjoy this little video of her yesterday going apeshit on Sam in the middle of the road in her British accent.
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