Today’s most popular headlines are MILDLY … [Stats Feed] December 31, 2007
Today”s most popular headlines are
- MILDLY DESPOILED VIRGINS
(1,696 views) - JUNKET INEPTITUDE
(1,571 views) - MONDAY MORNING BOX OFFICE
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Today”s most discussed stories are
Heir Apparent To Merry Miller”s Legacy Thinks John Cusack Is Kevin Spacey (5 comments), Miley Cyrus Defends Herself Against Shared-Licorice Lesbian Teen Romp Rumors (3) and “Book Of Secrets” The “Citizen Kane” Of American-History-Themed Bruckheimer Thrill Rides (3).
One Last Dance In 2007 With The Funky Ladies Of QVC [Short Ends]
· Apropos of nothing save our own need to get the f”hell out of here (we have tuxedo fittings, noisemaker sound checks, and blind champagne testings to get to), we thought we”d rerun our personal favorite video of the year–QVC chicks getting down! We can only hope to party half as hard as the comfotunic-selling ladies of shop-at-home television did early in October. · We bid three fond farewells to our departing Gawker comrades. · Worker 3116 imagines what Alien Vs. Predator Vs. A Crowd of Fussygussy New Year”s Eve Party Guests might sound like. · “For Lease - Trendy Area - Not Here - This Clearly Not Trendy - We Know That - What We Look Like - Hick From Van Nuys” [via Franklin Ave]
· The most in-demand guest for late night”s return is an MIT physics professor featured on the front page of the NY Times for the way he makes learning fun, but you can catch a preview of the advanced science hilarity with one of his lectures on YouTube. · Oooh–one more list, this time a poll of the worst film performances of the year. Congratulations, Lindsay! · Happy, happy New Year everyone. Here”s a link to a round-up of all the goings on tonight originally posted on Friday, and a reminder that the Metro is running all night, every 20 minutes. We”re off tomorrow, and will be back on Wednesday for another year of the regularly scheduled nonsense. · And the final link of 2007…is…this!
Part IV: IggyGate, Incredible Picketing Babies [Defamer 2007 Year In Review]
And so we come to Part IV, the final chapter of our Defamer 2007 Year in Review. May 2008 bring conflict resolution, good health, and love:
October · Britney loses her kids. · Charlie Sheen and his correspondences with ex-sad, jobless pig, Denise Richards · David Letterman”s classic post-jail Paris Hilton interview. · Tell Me You Love Me introduces America to prop nuts and fake jizz. · Danny Bonaduce piledrives Jonny Fairplay. · Pamela Anderson weds the Paris Hilton sex-tape guy in Vegas. · The path to war. · IggyGate rocks a nation. · That creepy thing about David Copperfield you could never quite put your finger on. · The Great 2007 Fire of Everyfuckingwhere. · The Great Strike Chair Dispute is a bad sign of things to come. · Marie Osmond down n” out. · Jerry Seinfeld demonstrates some Late Night hubris.
November · The strike is on. (And on and on and on.) · Ellen DeGeneres crosses picket lines. · Shia LaBeouf”s Walgreen”s arrest. · Fabio vs. Clooney. · Michael Jackson”s Ebony cover. · Mickey Rourke”s Vespa DUI. · Dog the Bounty Hunter”s gets caught N-wording on tape by his own son. · The Incredible Picketing Baby: A strike star is born. · Sharon Stone leaves little to the imagination. · Matt Damon named the sexiest man alive. · The hunkiest Bachelor ever refuses to play by The Bachelor rules. · A live 30 Rock among the sweet spots in a bitter strike. · Carson Daly”s strike solution. · Carrot Top scores!
December · Kiefer”s in jail 
· Jodie Foster publicly thanks her life partner. · Katherine Heigl puts her foot in it in Vanity Fair. · Jennifer Love Hewitt”s ass is a topic of much discussion. · Dr. Phil”s audience spared a taping of Dr. Phil. · Quentin Tarantino horrifies early risers with his Golden Globe announcements. · Steven Spielberg staying put. · Jamie Lynn Spears is having a baby. · A Return to Late Night. · Last DUI of the year? Bet on it: Mischa Barton. · Worldwide Pants the slacks of reason in the growing strike madness.
People’s 25 Best Celeb Photos of ‘07 has … [Brad PItt]
People”s 25 Best Celeb Photos of “07 has a little something for everyone, from a nippy, wet-T-shirted Brad Pitt hoisting Pax and Zahara, to Lindsay Lohan flashing her signature peace-sign in a bikini, gold fuck-me pumps, and a SCRAM. How could 2008 possibly top that? [People]
Because there’s literally minutes left to … [Mark Ruffalo]
Because there”s literally minutes left to the end of the year, and we”d like to leave you all with nice things, here”s a photo of proud new dads Mark Ruffalo and Ethan Hawke. Mark, she has your eyes, and Ethan, she has your ears. We couldn”t be happier for you. [WOW Report]
The Return Of Late Night, Now With Added Trump [Trade Roundup]
· The Return of Late Night (*Doc Severinson trumpet flourish*) brings a veritable who-cares of stars willing to cross picket lines. Leno has Jamie Lynn Spears”-pregnancy-endorsing candidate Mike Huckabee, and Letterman has Donald Trump, on hand to find out which of his Celebrity Apprentice candidates float. [THR] · More on the Worldwide Pants/WGA deal: Writers got what the Guild is demanding for internet across the board: “3% based on the applicable minimum payment per 100,000 hits.” [THR] · Netscape Navigator, who for some of us was our first portal into the many splendors of the bold new fetish-catering technology of the World Wide Web, is to be buried beneath a heavy pillow in its sleep by corporate parent AOL. [THR] · Chinese actor and director Sun Daolin died at age 86, whose illustrious cinematic legacy in many ways paved the way for Chris Tucker shouting about the words coming out of his mouth at a nonplussed Jackie Chan. [Variety] · Overseas audiences still can”t get enough of I Am Legend, which foreign film snoots are calling the greatest exploration of the existentialist dilemma since 1948″s La Terra trema. [Variety]
Miley Cyrus Defends Herself Against Shared-Licorice Lesbian Teen Romp Rumors [Mildly Despoiled Virgins]
In a story that tidily summed up the Spirit of the Holidays™, a Texas girls” clothing chain offering four seats and a flight to see Miley Cyrus”s solidly sold-out concert tour chose as the winner of its essay contest the six-year-old who began her entry, “My daddy died this year in Iraq.” Trouble was, her daddy had never been to Iraq, and was alive and well living in the next town over. To listen to her mother, who orchestrated the entire thing, go on at length with a TV reporter about how she was never once told the “essay had to be true” and thus took offense at being labeled a liar, is to truly catch a chilling glimpse into the dark heart of a Hannah Montana concert-ticket-seeking parent”s soul. But that would prove to be the lesser of two weekend controversies for the Disney Channel star:
Having already shot down one pregnancy rumor and pledged eternal, achy-breaky virtue to her dad until marriage or a serious slip-up, dreaded suggestive photos, the kinds of which have sullied the pristine, candy-wrapped reputations of fellow Disney stars, have now surfaced online. In them (click here for a disappointingly SFW experience), the Hanna Montana star appears to be sharing a treat with a ruby-lipped, bedroom-eyed playmate. Cyrus offered this defense to New York radio station Z100:
“They”re nothing bad! At first, I was really upset. It really sucks. [The girl in the pictures] was a friend of mine that”s a normal girl. [Now] she has to go to school and deal with this crap. It”s two girls at a sleepover, and if all of a sudden that”s bad, then what is the world coming to?
“What I decided before I came out to LA and started working was the minute I didn”t have fun was the minute I go home. I don”t want to go home, and I don”t want to not do what I do, because I love it, but this…it”s Satan attacking. It”s not something I”m going to let slide. I”m really upset about it, “cause it was, like, not even a big deal.”
How the gutter-minded press could twist something as sweet as the sharing of a single Swedish fish (or is that a piece of Twizzler Pull-n-Peel? Our expertise on red, chewy candy is failing us) between BFFs at a slumber party into something so sordid is most assuredly the result of Satan attacking the pants of horny teenage boys and grown men posing as such on MySpace. We respond by having our Half-Elf with a Dexterity Score of 18 counter-attack on behalf of Cyrus”s purity with a roll of the Hit Die. Satan vanquished!
- Club Libby Lu Withdraws Prize from Essay Winner [MyFox Dallas]
- Miley Cyrus Hits Back at Rumors [Z100]
Quickies: Annus Horriblus
Blanket exacts his revenge on Jacko with a punch to the face. (Pretty Boring)
Finally, a movie that encapsulates a Colbert-like truthiness and sense of levity. (Pajiba)
Frankie Muniz can’t keep a job or a house. (Jossip)
The many faces of Homer Simpson. (CityRag)
Paris Hilton tries to work her disease magic on K-Fed. (Seriously? OMG)
Nicky Hilton! Bikini! (The Grumpiest)
Pics of Mischa Barton leaving jail dressed as a babushka. (Evil Beet)
The Week in Shrimping: A disquieting toe-sucking … [Nicollette Sheridan]
The Week in Shrimping: A disquieting toe-sucking fad has apparently overtaken the celebrity sphere, with British tabloids running photos of Sting feasting on the phalanges of wife Trudie Styler (don”t they realize the gateway to the 11th chakra starts with one”s foot-webbing?), and Nicollette Sheridan chowing down on Michael Bolton”s hairless little piggies. Mmmm….Boltoes. [Daily Mail, Daily Mail]
A long-lost memo from Robert “Mike Brady” … [The Brady Bunch]
A long-lost memo from Robert “Mike Brady” Reed to Sherwood Schwartz upon receiving the script for Episode 116 of The Brady Bunch has reemerged. (Reed was a classically trained Shakespearean actor who regularly penned memos complaining about the show”s ridiculous plots and questionable character motivations.) It”s pretty classic: “Once again, we are infused with the slapstick. The oldest boy”s hair turns bright orange in a twinkling of the writer”s eye, having been doused with a non-FDA-approved hair tonic. […] When the kid”s hair turns red, it is Batman in the operating room. I can”t play it.” [BoingBoing]
Constatine’s Still Got It
You might remember I brought you a little taste of American Idol cast off Constatine Maroulis rocking out in an Ohio Steinmart last month. Well, don’t think the party stops there, my friends, because it doesn’t. The crazy train makes a stop at a “To Be Announced” and then a Borders bookstore late January, after having finished a two-month stint calling bingo in a casino in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Oh, yes. Bingo. I’m pretty sure the next two rungs on that ladder of success are “singing the jingle for Simon’s Septic Tank Uncloggers” and “amateur gay porn shot in your mom’s basement.” I say 2008 is the year of the Maroulis!
Heir Apparent To Merry Miller’s Legacy Thinks John Cusack Is Kevin Spacey [Junket Ineptitude]
Pity John Cusack, who in the span of one junket for an earnest and well-meaning film has now been subjected to the advances of single-n”-ready-to-mingle The View guest hosts, The Chris Farley Show-caliber interviews with overzealous TV cooks, and now, this:
Not since Merry Miller”s Holly Hunter debacle has an ill-prepared celebrity interviewer caused us to cringe so, as an unnamed host (surely only moments away from being identified, trotted around the morning shows for her viral notoriety, then forgotten about, only to reemerge as a View guest couch-warmer fully in control of her non-inept life after having found God) begins her audience with the lauded actor by explaining that she”s missing class, which, funnily enough, is covering American Beauty that day. What”s funny about that? To Cusack–not very much. To us, pretty much everything.
- How Not to Start an Interview [YouTube]
Lindsay Lohan Pulls a Hat Trick
Lindsay Lohan spent the weekend slutting it up at a film festival in Capri, and the paparazzi captured it all on film for your judging pleasure. Female First says
First she was pictured kissing Italian waiter Alessandro Di Nunzio soon after arriving on the island on Friday, before sharing a kiss with actor Eduardo Costa the following day. The 21-year-old actress was then caught on camera yesterday morning canoodling with actor Dario Faiella.
An onlooker said: “Lindsay is really enjoying herself in Capri. She wasn’t content to just share a kiss with one man - it seemed like she was on a mission. She doesn’t seem to have had any time for anything but men since she got here.”
That’s just the ones the photographers caught her groping. God knows how many slipped into her leggings unnoticed. That Lohan can sniff out an unsuspecting penis from a hundred paces — even the dark and blindfolded. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Native Americans used her vagina to divine for semen and aborted fetuses hidden among the deltas of the mighty Mississippi. Every good Choctaw knows there’s nothing like a couple of chunks of baby floating in a bucket of ejaculate to appease the great Hushtahli from withholding the rain, and Lindsay Lohan can’t turn around without stepping in one. And then, when it finally does rain, the firecrotch makes a great makeshift tent to shelter the entire tribe from the storm. Form AND function, boys and girls. It’s kinda like how the Native American used every part of the buffalo, even down to the intestines and hooves. After Lindsay had sex with it first, of course. Ancient talismans always get first dibs!
‘Book Of Secrets’ The ‘Citizen Kane’ Of American-History-Themed Bruckheimer Thrill Rides [Monday Morning Box Office]
With Father Time currently in lockdown after being picked up over the weekend for a parole-violating DUI, and the tragic discovery of the New Year”s baby in a dumpster behind Bar Lubitsch (besides a crushed top hat and filthy sash, doing just fine), it seems as if the countdown to 2008 comes under less than ideal circumstances. Still, you can”t stop the march of progress, and nowhere is that more apparent than in the weekend box office numbers:
1. National Treasure: Book of Secrets - $35.6 million Boasting another week at the top of the box office, Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer have again managed to spin Nicolas Cage relieving himself on a pile of American history books into a pop culture phenomenon. Curious as to how Dame Helen Mirren fit into the cloak-and-dagger proceedings, we had a chance to catch Secrets over the weekend, where we were thrilled to learn that [Spoiler alert! Spoiler “round the bend! God be with all ye who travel past this point unawares that spoilers be awaitin” ye, arhh!] the silver-tressed sex goddess had been retained to reprise her Oscar-winning turn as Queen Elizabeth II, showing off her impressive aim with a stag musket and command over a pack of bloodthirsty attack-Corgies in the scene where Cage and friends break into Buckingham Palace.
2. Alvin and the Chipmunks - $30,000,000 The unassuming tale of a disheveled celebrity Eastsider”s singing-rodent infestation has proven to be a force to be reckoned with: Its $30 mil weekend take brings its total to $142.4 mil, leaving it poised to crack the top ten grossing films of the year. As if you had to be told, that makes chipmunks 2008″s penguins. Prepare for approximately two dozen chipmunk-related family projects to fast-track into development, including Look Who”s Talking Like a Chipmunk, Flushed Away 2: Now Chipmunks Are Being Flushed Away!, and Verminy Feet.
3. I Am Legend - $27,500,000 As we refuse to see this movie, we”re left with nothing but Will Smith-loving-Hitler jokes. How many Hitler-loving Will Smiths does it take to change a lightbulb? Two! One to change it, the other to reprogram the broken one.
4. Charlie Wilson”s War - $11,768,000 5. Juno - $10,300,000 In the “sophisticated commercial choice for grownups” category, audiences looking for fulfillment through witty banter and mature themes who may have already caught Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem turned to saucy Sorkinisms and Diabloesque drollery for their self-satisfied weekend moviegoing experiences.
13. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - $3.7 million Still languishing at the box office, the music-bio satire with the in-your-face For Your Consideration campaign even has its star Jenna Fischer blogging about its flaccid-penis attributes on MySpace: “It”s very raunchy and sexy and the humor is hard core. Think 40-Year-Old Virgin but with full-frontal male nudity too. That”s right ladies, we have penis.”
- WEEKEND BOX OFFICE December 28-30, 2007 [Box Office Mojo]
Nicole Kidman is Pregnant
Nicole Kidman is finally pregnant! Or not! Or lying about it! The Daily Mail reports
Nicole Kidman and her husband of 18 months are expecting their first baby. The Oscar-winning actress and Keith Urban, the country and western singer she calls the “love of my life”, broke the news to their families over the Christmas holiday.
But Nic’s publicist responded (via People magazine)
“It is incorrect. She must have had about 30 babies by now. It’s the silly season. As far as we’re concerned, it’s another rumor out of London.”
Pregnant or not, if she wants to have a baby, she’d better get on it. At 40, “silly season” turns into “menopause season” real quick. Botox doesn’t fool your uterus, you know!
Nicole at the Sydney Children’s Hospital screening of “The Golden Compass” December 18th
Old People Suck
Well, it’s New Year’s Eve, and since I can’t reach out there and punch you in the testicles, here’s the next best thing: old people sucking each other’s toes. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, 2008! The Daily Mail says
Docked in Sydney harbour on a hired yacht, Sting gently raised Trudie Styler’s left leg to his mouth - and sucked her toes. Their on-board exploits came as it emerged that the couple plan to throw a party at their estate in Wiltshire to renew their marriage vows after The Police’s world tour finishes.
I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “what could possibly be worse than staring at Sting fellating that old broad’s toes?” Why, staring at Nicolette Sheridan chowing down on Michael Bolton’s toes, of course!
That’s usually a face reserved for tearing the flesh from a turkey drumstick or chomping off another boxer’s ear, but old chicks must really dig nail fungus and athlete’s foot. Next to Parcheesi and Metamucil, I hear it’s their favorite holiday pastime.
An All-Girl DUI Christmas [The Clip Show] December 28, 2007
· Michelle Rodriguez begins her 180-day jail odyssey, Topanga meets breathalyzer, De Mornay pays the piper, and Mischa Barton spends a night in jail. · Sean and Robin”s divorce: Could it have been Penn”s stubborn opinions about The Beatles? · The Defamer 2007 Year in Review: Parts I, II, and III. And our best videos of the year. · Britney Spears spills her guts to Adnan the Paparazzo. · Will Smith-Loves-HitlerGate: Could you clarify what you meant by “reprogramming?” · Brandy walks. · Casting the CBS MOW of the Benazir Bhutto tragedy. · Carson Daly electrifying late night. · Angelina Jolie and Rosie O”Donnell top annoying celebrity and do-gooder polls. We forget which won which. · “He said something about, “Taking my homies weed…”” · Worldwide Pants and the WGA make beautiful, side-deal love.
Sun-Maid Nip/Tucked [Short Ends]
· We realize this makeover isn”t that new, but did the Sun-Maid girl fix a deviated septum? And get Botox? And a chemical peel? And a brow lift? And gone tanning? She”s still being styled by Rachel Zoe, though. Zing! · The AMPTP clock has hit $151,000,000. Why is that figure significant? Well, says their website, it”s the moment the strike has crossed over into the red abyss, costing the writers more than they were negotiating for in the first place. Do you taste the bitter irony here? It”s so unpleasant on the tongue! · The visor supposedly worn by Date on Star Trek: The Next Generation and sold by Christie”s to a Trekkie for $6000 is now suspected of being a fake. · It”s official: Rocky”s son and the indestructible cheerleader are doing it! · Did somebody say…list? Reality Blurred reminds us of all the reality stars who died this year–a surprisingly hefty lot–as well as a bunch of other reality TV stuff from a year where the format reigned supreme.
Your Weekend Of Almost New Year’s Eve [To Do]
Friday · Friday Night Music: Social Distortion at the House of Blues, The Germs at the Key Club, Digital Underground at the Viper Room. · Aliens From Spaceship Earth screens at the Silent Movie Theatre: “A ticket to heaven with folk-schlocker Donovan as your guide through the cosmic universe of hippie idols.” Saturday · Music round-up: The Mars Volta at the Echoplex, the Supersuckers at the Viper Room, The Crystal Method at the Vanguard, The Mother Hips at the Mint. · The 2007 IT SUCKED! Awards are at the UCB Theatre, hosted by Danielle Schneider and Dannah Feinglass, and featuring Rob Corddry, Matt Besser, Matt Walsh, Jen Kirkman, Seth Morris, and James Adomian appearing as Javier Bardem. · It”s the very last Hot Dog of all time, featuring a slew of L.A. clubland characters, gogo boys and girls, and of course your host, Mario “King of Sleaze” Diaz. At Club Dragonfly.
A New Year”s rundown after the jump!
Sunday · Stay home–tomorrow is New Year”s Eve. · A round-up of the major parties and shows around town:
Party: The Future is Now Location: Avalon Features: 5-hour set from Gabriel & Dresden Price: $50
Party: Giant Maximus Location: 836 Francisco St, downtown Features: Tiesto, Roger Sanchez, MSTRKRFT, Z-Trip Price: $85
Party: Hard NYE Location: Premiere Events Center Features: music by Peaches and Justice and a screening of Daft Punk”s film, Electroma. Price: $75-175
Party: KCRW Location: Temple Bar Features: music by Dengue Fever, party favors and champagne toast Price: $30 in advance, $40 at the door.
Party: Magicopolis Location: 1418 Fourth St, Santa Monica Features: Penn & Teller Price: $50.
Party: New Year”s Eve Ball Location: Renaissance Hollywood Hotel Features: Vegas-themed party featuring casino-style gaming, live rock and blues bands, Cirque du Soleil aerialists and acrobats, Mardi Gras-style entertainment, and burlesque shows. A Ticket includes a Wolfgang Puck dinner buffet. Price: $100 advance; $125 door.
Party: Paris a Go Go Location: Walt Disney Concert Hall Features: Belinda Carlisle and Rufus Wainwright performing Parisian cabaret music Price: $53-$150.
Party: New Year”s Eve Masquerade Ball Location: Roosevelt Hotel Features: Kweli, DJ sets by Bloc Party and the Rapture. Price: The event has almost sold out though a limited number of tickets will be available at the door for $150.
Party: Dollhouse 15th Anniversary NYE Celebration Location: Forbidden City Features: performance by “80s cover band the Spazmatics, DJ Prophet and the British DJ Mark Lewis Price: $80-$1,200
Party: NYE `08 @ LES DEUX Location: Les Deux Features: Mickey Avalon playing a live set, with Travis Barker as the rapper”s special guest drummer. Price: $200
Party: New Year”s Nation Location: Social Hollywood Features: parties in eight cities will be simulcast nationwide Price: $150 - $200
Quickies: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Penelope Cruz makes out with her sister in a new video. How do you say “incest” in Spanish again? (Webster’s)
Lee Lee Sobieski’s boobs in St. Barts! (CelebSlam)
If you click Lily Allen’s heels three times, will the Wicked Witch of the West show up and beat the living hell outta her? (Celebrity Smack)
Encino Man’s wife finally realizes he’s bald and ugly and files for divorce. (Gabsmash)
Katherine Heigl gets married. (About: Celebrity Gossip)
It’s about time they made a movie about vaginas with teeth! (popbytes)
Nicolette Sheridan slips an old lady nip. (The Blemish)
Is Pam from “The Office” getting “Finched?” (Celebitchy)
Naked. Victoria’s Secret Angels. Jergens. Need I say more? (The Bastardly)
Hayden Panettiere’s dating Milo Ventimiglia. It’s nice when little people find love, even if it’s 12 years their senior. (MollyGood)
Sponsored By: Yeeeah! Forums Join the snarky community!
Former Playboy Model Barely Keeps It Together Recalling Rough Texas Justice [Girls, Cops, Cars, And Rough Stuff]
We don”t think this one needs too much dressing up: A report about former Playboy magazine model Rebecca Reyes, who claims she was manhandled by Texas cops, replete with tearful, first person recollection of the events. Observations? Um, former Playboy models crying makes us sad. Also, brown is an underrated tanktop color. Happy New Year, everyone!
Sienna’s Very Welsh Birthday Surprise
It’s Sienna Miller’s birthday today, and boyfriend Rhys Ifans knows nothing says “happy birthday” like an original Welsh love poem followed by a scavenger hunt. Chappy there really moistens the old panties, doesn’t he? Female First says
Actor Ifans has written a welsh language love poem, which Sienna has been learning, and there are even hints of that Sienna who turns 26 today will get a gift to beat all - an engagement ring. A friend of Rhys [said] that “He’s collected ten presents for Sienna of varying shapes, sizes and prices, all part of his plan for a romantic night in with a mountain of presents. He is keeping tight-lipped on a proposal but hinted to me that he has had a Welsh designer craft a special ring for her…which can only mean one thing.”
This sounds like a birthday surprise dreamed up by Eladrin the gnome loremaster. Throw in some Faerun-specific sub-races and a little headgear and it’s practically seventh grade all over again. The only difference is the part where he has sex with Sienna Miller.
Sienna in London last week:
Worldwide Pants Zips Up After Securing A Deal Behind Closed Doors With The WGA [Writer DealWatch]
A press release brings at least a glimmer of end-of-year good news to the otherwise moribund state of writers strike affairs: Worldwide Pants, which sought to reach an independent deal with the WGA that would allow both their late night talk shows to return to the airwaves with a full roster of Guild-approved Top Ten lists, Know Your Current Events questions, and whatever it is they do on The Late Late Show, has successfully negotiated an agreement with their writers” union:
“The Writers Guild has reached a binding independent agreement today with Worldwide Pants that will allow Late Night with David Letterman and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson to return to the air with their full writing staffs.
This is a comprehensive agreement that addresses the issues important to writers, particularly New Media. Worldwide Pants has accepted the very same proposals that the Guild was prepared to present to the media conglomerates when they walked out of negotiations on December 7.
Today”s agreement dramatically illustrates that the Writers Guild wants to put people back to work, and that when a company comes to the table prepared to negotiate seriously a fair and reasonable deal can be reached quickly.
It”s time for NBC-Universal to step up to the plate and negotiate a company-wide deal that will put Jay Leno, who has supported our cause from the beginning, back on the air with his writers.”
While it”s definitely a step in the right direction, it”s worth noting that this “dramatic illustration” took two weeks and several “terse” statements before being hammered out. Should The Tonight Show fail to reach its own agreement, it will be interesting to see how the two longtime late night foes make out in their unfairly matched showdown, with Letterman backed by a trusty writing staff and an all-new arsenal of rejected-holiday-toy-packaging and buoyancy-test-materials, and Leno left to his own, improvisational devices for a monologue”s worth of nightly material. This could be a window of opportunity for Stupid Staffer Tricks-conceptualizing Last Call host Carson Daly to inch into the lead in the NBC late night hosting stakes.
That’s a relief! Brandy won’t face charges … [Brandy]
That”s a relief! Brandy won”t face charges for involuntary vehicular manslaughter, so says the Los Angeles City Attorney”s office. Brandy is no doubt relieved that she won”t have to hire an army of lawyers to defend her in court against criminal charges, and can instead put it all towards the civil suit, a possible settlement, and a medium Pinkberry with no toppings purchased with what”s left.[MSNBC]
Part III: Coke Pants, Britney’s VMAs Dance [Defamer 2007 Year In Review]
Wow–is it July already? Someone turn off this space heater and get us some sangria! It must be time for more Defamer 2007 Year in Review:
July · The big fucking robots finally come–and conquer. · Kwik-E-Mart”s invade the area. · Lindsay Lohan comes of drinking age. · CAA assistants gather to greet Becks in the stairwell. He never comes. · Live Earth”s a dud. · Rosie O”Donnell defiles Elisabeth Hasselbeck. · Ed Limato squeezed out at ICM. · Jon Lovitz”s Andy Dick smackdown. · Introducing, Herr Cruise! · Filipino “Thriller.” · Lindsay Lohan: The Coke-Pant, Denalijacking arrest. · McPherson to Silverman: “Be a man.” · Merry Miller”s Holly Hunter interview disaster.
August · Billion Dollar Ratner Week. · Whoopi Goldberg arrives at The View. · Lohan joins the Cirque. · The Phil Spector trial field trip and he”s greatest canine supporter. · Big Brother“s Amber is leery of Jews, and other BB intolerances. · Merv Griffin dead, gay. · John From Cincinnati drowns in an inscrutable riptide. · Hey–it”s Naked Leopard Man! (Thanks, Dave!) · The Learning Channel not quite successful achieving its mission statement. · Owen Wilson attempts suicide.
September · Rita Cosby”s outrageous Howie-on-Larry allegations. · Bill Murray”s drunken Swedish golfcart joyride. · Jerry Lewis”s gay telethon slur. · Crazed Italian Brad Pitt fan-attack! · The Britney Spears VMAs performance of a lifetime. · Kathy Griffin: “Screw Jesus. This award is my god now.” · Acknowledging the Rubyfruit Mafia. · O.J. Simpson”s stolen-shit shakedown. · An Emmys in the round. · Kid Nation premieres, and homesickness abounds. · Spector jury hung. Mistrial is declared. · Sherri Shepherd admits she has no clue what shape the planet is. · Leave Britney Alone! · George Clooney”s motorcycle accident. · Kiefer Sutherland”s U-Turn of Doom. · Spielberg: “Completely Immaterial.”
