Defamer Corrections: The Mystery Of The Hollywood Hot Tubs Solved! July 31, 2007
As it turns out, it was not Social Hollywood that was proudly reigniting the soak-and-poke torch tragically extinguished by the ceremonial dumping out of the last tubful of the venerated Splash spa”s overchlorinated, DNA-rich waters. A note we just received from a helpful publicist reveals that it was the neighboring BOULEVARD3 (all caps theirs) that recently offered its upscale clientele the exciting opportunity to enjoy an evening of delicious food, top-shelf cocktails, and unrepentant, jacuzzi-enhanced fornication:
I am contacting you as I represent BOULEVARD3, the venue that is located next to Social Hollywood. The Cal Spas hot tubs that were delivered last week were actually delivered to BOULEVARD3 for an amazing special event - thought up an carried out by BOULEVARD3″s owner Peter Famulari.
Famulari, who is always looking for new ways to excite his guests and encourage more genuine interaction within the crowd, hosted a hot tub party last Friday night. Details on the event are below.
While the event is already over, we present the press release after the jump, allowing you to get a taste of what you”ve missed and clear your schedule for next year”s Hot Tub Party. Enjoy:
BOULEVARD3″s First Annual Hot Tub Party
Entry is via RSVP only (as it always is for the venue) additionally there is no cover charge (as always.) We will be selling hot tub packages as we would sell tables for the evening. The package is listed below as well as the food and entertainment that everyone can enjoy on Friday.
The HOT TUB PACKAGE includes a Garden Room with their own private Cal Spas Hot Tub; a bottle of champagne, a bottle of premium liquor and mixers, a bucket of beer, and they will have access to unlimited energy drinks and water from 2-3am.
There will be a complimentary BBQ from 9-10:30pm created by Chef Joseph Ojeda that will include:
Grilled Caribbean Chicken Satay w/ mango salsa Grilled Coconut Shrimp Satay w/ lemongrass and cilantro ajillo Fresh Tropical Fruit Salad “Martini” Other highlights during the event include:
“Beach volleyball” on the dance floor
2 Fashion Shows -Mia Presley Luxury Swimwear & Skin Flick and Lime. The models are a mix of former Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets
The venue will be open until 3 am.
- Previously: The Mystery Of Social Hollywood”s Hot Tub Delivery [Defamer]
In Brief: While neither as glamorous nor as bloody …
While neither as glamorous nor as bloody as the Cupcake Wars of Beverly Hills or the citywide Yogurt Conflict, the cost-slashing battle for supremacy in San Gabriel”s Chinese foot massage racket is nonetheless compelling. Don”t miss the exciting cameos by Hollywood superstar Jackie Chan and controversial Sheriff Lee Baca! [LAT]
To Do: M.I.A., Tight Sweaters, Ahmet
· Music round-up: Peter Bjorn And John at the Henry Fonda; M.I.A. at Echoplex; Michael Penn at Largo. · Patricia Bunin, Monica Holloway, Mae Respicio and Samantha Schoech sign The Bigger the Better, the Tighter the Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image, and Other Hazards of Being Female at Dutton”s Brentwood Bookstore. That very detalied title provides all you need to know about the topics covered by this particular work. · The Egyptian Theatre hosts a screening of Atlantic Records: The House That Ahmet Built as part of a celebration of the record company”s 60th anniversary. Potential post-screening guests are too numerous to list in this space.
Defamer Connections: You’re Just One Shady Craigslist Ad Away From Realizing All Of Your Hollywood Dreams
While we at Defamer realize that any of our female readers with acting aspirations hardly need our help in procuring the services of “producers” willing to exchange sexual favors for empty promises of career assistance, we nonetheless feel it”s our duty to occasionally serve as middleman between parties seeking this classic, mutually beneficial show business arrangement. Lounging in a VIP booth in Craiglist”s virtual Hollywood nightclub is this anonymous starmaker, who”s looking to send a drink over to the table of any struggling actress willing to blow him in a bathroom stall if he passes her headshot on to his favorite agency:
I”M REAL! FILM PRODUCER FOR NSA W/ASPIRING ACTRESS/MODEL NEEDING HELP - m4w - 35 Real Posting! Yes, I am a real motion picture producer with numerous credits of films you”ve most likely seen. I”m mid 30″s, slim and fit, sexy as hell and easy on the eyes! I don”t have much time for dating and am looking for a mutually beneficial situation/NSA with an aspiring actress/model who may need to jump start their career.
This is very real and over the last several months I”ve place 2 actresses and one model with very prestigious agencies and all are now actively auditioning numerous times a week. I know there are numerous actresses/models out there that are doing whatever it takes to make the rent. You just can”t seem to land any roles or agents or connect with the right people. For the adventurous and spontaneous type, this could be for you. I will give all my info to the proper candidate once I know you”re serious. Pic for Pic! First come first serve!
The producer”s three assertions that he and his tantalizing offer are genuine are all the confirmation that we need, as any fraud looking to take advantage of a trusting lady who just can”t connect with the right people surely would”ve offered no more than two “I”m real! Pinky swear! Just ask all the future superstars with top-shelf representation I”ve nailed!” references. Remember, it”s a first come/first served offer, so don”t fritter away the precious moments you could be using to launch your career with unnecessary caution.
In Brief: “Hennessy SIGHTING! Below is a great sighting …
“Hennessy SIGHTING! Below is a great sighting from the Imagen Awards this past weekend. Let me know if you need any additional details!
Wilmer Valderrama and America Ferrara were spotted sipping Hennessy cocktails at the official after party for the Imagen Awards Saturday night.”
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: The Triumphant Return Of Kiefer Sutherland (to LAX)
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. (You have only yourselves to blame if they seem a little light or less than chockful of A-listers sometimes.) Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “sighting” or “PrivacyWatch” in the subject line so we don”t lose them) and share your amateur analysis of Tori Spelling”s psychological state based on some observation while shopping.
In today”s episode: Kiefer Sutherland and Shannon Tweed; Will Smith and Jada Pinkett; Cameron Diaz and Mary Lynn Rajskub; Britney Spears; Jeff Goldblum; Zachary Quinto; Paula Abdul; Dominic Monaghan; Jason Schwartzman; Josh Schwarz; Kirstie Alley, Paul Stanley, and Tori Spelling; Joey Lawrence; Andrew Dice Clay.
· Tuesday, July 24 - Saw Kiefer Sutherland around 10:30pm walking through Terminal 7 at LAX, looking way hot. The perfect end to a first trip to LaLa Land for my 24-obsessed boyfriend! On our flight from Maui to LA was Shannon Tweed sitting in first class with what appeared to be her kids. Serious case of platypus lips going on there–not a pretty sight.
· Last Thursday (7/26) saw Will Smith and Jada Pinkett at Sperling Nursery in Calabasas buying bird feeders. He”s much taller and muscular in person. She looks like she”d stick you with a shiv in the shower when you weren”t looking.
· Just moved to Los Angeles and now I know it”s real when I can send in a defamer sighting! Both Cameron Diaz and Mary Lynn Rajskub, although not together, were at Matsuhisa”s host stand when I was leaving tonight around 745. They both looked very beautiful and VERY thin….
· At my friend CC”s birthday at One Sunset on Saturday night… On my way out to smoke a cigarette, I passed 3 average/homely looking girls coming in the front door. When I reached the outside deck, I was informed that one of the homely chicks was in fact Britney Spears in a black wig. She and her friends spent the evening in the back of the place - they didn”t socialize with anyone else. Still, despite her lack of evident star power, she created a buzz throughout the club.
· Britney Spears herself at the trendy new OneSunset. Looked awful - surprisingly low key until she went absolutely apeshit over a lost camera or cell phone. Sped back off toward the Four Seasons where she”s shacked up moments later.
· 7/28: Jeff Goldblum at Jinky”s Cafe on Sunset at about 11am. Yellow t-shirt and grey runners shorts.
· Seen at Baja Fresh on Sunset & Vine: Zachary Quinto (Sylar and Baby Spock) ordering a burrito. In person he looks less like a genetically-mutated maniacal serial killer and more like the New Jersey frat boy that used to sell me pot in college. · Just saw Paula Abdul in the A/X Store in Sunset Plaza. I actually didn”t notice her on the sidewalk, my friend did, so we opted for a little light stalking after lunch and followed her into the store. She is about 5″ tall, and looks pretty good in person. Casually dressed in sweats, giant sunlases, a pony tail, and the ubiquitous cell phone. She was shopping on the sale rack. She wasn”t drunk or crying (that we could see).
· Saw Lost”s Dominic Monaghan today (Friday, 7/27) having lunch at Mexicali in Studio City. Was nice to get a momentary eye-to-eye contact as he was seated in the booth adjacent to ours.
· Jason Schwartzman, with a very cute indie red head girlfriend, and a group of hipster friends at Milk on Beverly. He looked swarthier and smaller than one might expect. Although he was zero attitude, all fun and willing to sit on display at the big table in the middle of the small room eating ice cream on warm summer night.
· 7/27: Josh Schwarz…On the train back from comi-con. We”re currently passing through orange county and he”s got his head pressed firmly against the window.
· Because I have no life I spend too much time at the Westfield shopping mall on Riverside Dr in Sherman Oaks. Apparently it”s evolved into some sort of pseudo celebrity Valley hangout because in the past few weeks I”ve made the following sightings: - KISS guitarist Paul Stanley, sans make up, waiting for the elevator in jeans so tight they”d have to be surgically removed. — Kirstie Alley, and this is going to sound like a joke, but it”s true — waiting in line in the food court at one of those places that sells the giant pretzels — Tori Spelling, looking hot but sad, in a little shop selling belts and purses. She looked younger in person than I”d have thought. But depressed. Very depressed.
· 7/29 - While noshing and shopping at the Commons in Calabasas on Sunday, I spotted Dancing with the Stars” Joey Lawrence (if you”re reading this, please grow the hair back) and Drew Lachey with their wives pushing their little ones in strollers.
· 7/29: Fritelli”s in BH we saw Andrew Dice Clay sitting outside looking sweaty and overheated, wearing mesh gloves and a headband left over from the 80s.
Divine Retribution Dept.: God Thinks Christina Aguilera Is A Ho
We had sensibly assumed the respiratory infection that struck down Christina Aguilera — forcing her to cancel her Australian concert dates — came from screeching those high notes prior to a parade of all-night, stress-relieving tour-bus orgies. But apparently we”ve been short-sighted, forgetting God”s distaste for Louboutins, blondes, and wanton displays of sexuality the likes of which would make Satan pump his claws in triumph. Says the Baptists For Brownback blog:
[T]hanks to the majesty and power of God, the blaring megaphone of Chrisina [sic] Aguilera”s sexual terrorism has been muffled.
Citing the lyrics to Aguilera”s song “Naughty, Nasty Boy,” which entreat a lusty hunk of sin-meat to “put your icing in [her] cake” and give her a spanking, the blogger — who runs a Web site in support of a Republican senator from Kansas — further suggests the virus is revenge for tainting the world with her red-lipped strumpetry:
“Naughty, Nasty Boy”… may as well be the official anthem for harlotry and sodomy. One can only imagine how many unplanned sexual events occurred as a result of impressionable young minds being exposed to such filth.
Whether the blog is real or a parody has been debated, but one thing”s for sure: In this person”s zeal to praise the Lord for restoring faith in His mysterious ways, the author forgot to check his facts, confusing the current story with an old one from 2000 detailing how Xtina and half her entourage got the same throat infection.
Still, what”s a little fact-checking when you are a master of linguistic gymnastics? For the pure joy of its over-the-top-ness, we hope the blog is genuine, and that this person truly thinks God did take time out from His divine work helping sports teams win and fixing the Emmy nominations to cast a pox on one of the few young singers who manages to keep us guessing as to whether she”s wearing panties. Because that way, we can await with drooling hunger the inevitable forthcoming treatises on how God shaved Britney”s head, tipped off the cops about Paris Hilton”s many offenses, and royally coked up Lindsay”s pants. Ah, that God. Such a scamp.
- Christina Aguilera Finally Tastes Her Just Desserts [Baptists For Brownback]
- Baptists4Brownback… Is It A Spoof? [catvincent.livejournal.com]
- Aguilera Cancels Two Australian Dates Because of Illness[SFGate.com]
Defamer Jobs: The Defamer Job Board: Upgrade Your Quality Of Life From ‘Sucks’ To ‘Better Than Bearable’
We feel your pain: You job–and by extension, most of your waking life–kind of sucks. Through the power of the Defamer Job Board, reverse that career suction and get yourself into a better situation. The nightmares may even stop one day! (Maybe!)
Right now at Defamer jobs: Defamer Jobs:
- Assistant to two SVPs - Blueprint Entertainment, Los Angeles, CA
- Executive Assistant - Madison Road Entertainment, Los Angeles, CA
- Executive Assistant - Confidential, Los Angeles, CA (South Bay)
- Assistant/Management Trainee - Confidential, Beverly Hills, CA
- Assistant Marketing Manager - DIRECTV, Inc., Los Angeles, CA (El Segundo, CA)
- Viral Content Manager - Liquid Generation, Inc., Los Angeles, CA
For only $25 your job could be here! Submit it today.
Trade Roundup: Var’s Lady Lists
· Var issues its tribute to Hollywood ladypower, the Women”s Impact Report, as well as its Hazardous Impact Report, an inventory of the tabloid-attracting trainwrecks who seek to sabotage the work of the Stacey Sniders, Nancy Tellems, and Laura Ziskins of the world. [Variety, Variety] · Has there ever been a worse time to be a TV viewer? CBS and Fox split the ratings race last night behind a Two and Half Men repeat and a new episode of Hell”s Kitchen. [THR] ·”U[niversal] brass felt Vaughn was money and he didn”t even know it.” [Variety] · Wondering what Blair Underwood”s been up to? Knock yourselves out. [THR] · Hollywood StrikeWatch, Stockpiling Edition: A report from permitting agency Film LA to be released today reveals that local TV and feature production has risen at a rate unseen since the eve of a feared 2001 strike, a figure suggesting that the studios are indeed squirreling away all the product they can in preparation for a possible work stoppage next year. Meanwhile, WGA members are making their own preparations by fighting over pallets of canned corn in the aisles of Costco. [Variety]
Obvious Revelations: Star Jones Finally Admits That Her Stomach Is Not Naturally The Size Of A Walnut
From the “no shit, Sherlock” department, Star Jones Reynolds is finally confessing what anyone with half an eye and a brain cell already knew: that her 160-lb. weight loss was due to gastric bypass surgery. After spending years denying that she went that route, in an upcoming Glamour column Star seems to gloss over the magnitude of that whole messy lying in favor of playing the insecurity card:
Why the delay in speaking up? “First, I didn”t know if the surgery would work,” she writes in the first-person essay. “I had spent my entire adult life telling everyone that I was fine with the way I looked. I never thought I”d have to explain it.
“But the complete truth is, I was scared of what people might think of me.”
“Every day I am learning to let go of my insecurities and acknowledge that I don”t have all the answers, which is okay,” she writes. Though she still struggles with self-image, she writes that being healthy is what counts. “I”m not saying that in order to be happy, women need to be a certain size, but I am saying that we should all strive to be healthy.” […]
After undergoing her surgery, the Court TV host said she didn”t expect so much public scrutiny. So, she says, she sidestepped reports that she had undergone the treatment despite rapidly losing upwards of 160 lbs. over three years.
It”s certainly understandable that Star would be surprised at the attention. After all, she was being paid to yap for a living on a high-profile talk show, and she had just staged a lavish, greedy wedding she wouldn”t shut up about; given all that, why would anyone wonder how the equivalent of Joy Behar melted off her frame? Still, this column is good for one thing: We can”t wait to hear how Rosie eviscerates this through her signature disjointed haiku. May we suggest: “star / surgery made you skinny / but ur still a big fat liar inside / suck it.”
- Star Jones: I Had Gastric Bypass Surgery [People.com]
Annals Of Waterlogged Copulation: The Mystery Of Social Hollywood’s Hot Tub Delivery
Curbed LA notes a mysterious delivery of multiple hot tubs to Social Hollywood, speculating that their sudden appearance might be a harbinger of one of those charming, “actual famous people go here!” Entourage location shoots. It”s certainly a possibility, but another explanation could be that with the recent closure of local soak-and-poke institution Splash, Social”s savvy owners might merely be moving to fill the void left by its shuttering by offering a more upscale, fucking-in-a-disease-riddled-crockpot experience to its patrons.
- Delivery at Hollywood Social? [Curbed LA]
Flipping Out: Bravo Introduces New Successful Crazy Person Reality Show Tonight
Continuing its proud tradition of reality programming centered around larger-than-sane-life characters whose low-grade mental illness enhances their professional success (see Blowout“s narcissistic personality disorder sufferer Jonathan Antin and Hey Paula“s apparent dissociative identity victim), Bravo tonight unleashes Flipping Out and its house-renovating, compulsively abusive protagonist on the world. Notes the NY Times:
Jeff Lewis is a very scary man, and he isn”t scary solely because he treats his employees like dust mites or consults a psychic to assist him in the running of his business or sends his cat, Monkey, to an acupuncturist. No, Jeff Lewis, a Los Angeles real estate speculator, evokes a chill because he is so leveraged, a man balancing multiple mortgages like bricks on a noodle.
Mr. Lewis”s houses look like the generically upscale ones found in House Beautiful. He doesn”t possess style; he copies it. What he does have, by his own admission, is obsessive-compulsive disorder, and the show”s producers, to their credit, do not treat his O.C.D. as if it were a winning asset, the key to whatever success he has had. Like many sufferers of the disorder, Mr. Lewis ignores the real mayhem right there in front of him, so fixated is he on the idea, say, that all the bottles of water in his refrigerator be stocked so that the labels always face him. This is a task dispatched to one of three assistants, from whom he demands formal, written apologies when they behave insubordinately.
For years now, the comic detective series “Monk” has equated O.C.D. with intuitive brilliance. We”ve long required a corrective interpretation, and “Flipping Out” is it. Mr. Lewis isn”t a genius of anything. He”s just a delusional jerk.
In a town with one of the highest densities of non-genius-level delusional jerks on the planet, Lewis hardly stands out. And if the best Flipping Out has to offer us in the way of abuse is the occasional chewing out of an underling and some handwritten mea culpas, we”d prefer that Bravo somehow gets its cameras into a major talent agency to document the excruciating burns suffered when an OCD-afflicted agent tosses scorching latte after latte into the face of his assistant, unable to stop until he gets it just right.
- A Los Angeles Speculator Sold on Himself [NY Times]
Flipping Out: Bravo To Introduce Yet Another ‘Successful Crazy Person’ Reality Show Tonight
Continuing its proud tradition of reality programming centered around larger-than-sane-life characters whose low-grade mental illness enhances their professional success (see Blowout“s narcissistic personality disorder sufferer Jonathan Antin and Hey Paula“s apparent dissociative identity victim), Bravo tonight unleashes Flipping Out and its house-renovating, compulsively abusive protagonist on the world. Notes the NY Times:
Jeff Lewis is a very scary man, and he isn”t scary solely because he treats his employees like dust mites or consults a psychic to assist him in the running of his business or sends his cat, Monkey, to an acupuncturist. No, Jeff Lewis, a Los Angeles real estate speculator, evokes a chill because he is so leveraged, a man balancing multiple mortgages like bricks on a noodle.
Mr. Lewis”s houses look like the generically upscale ones found in House Beautiful. He doesn”t possess style; he copies it. What he does have, by his own admission, is obsessive-compulsive disorder, and the show”s producers, to their credit, do not treat his O.C.D. as if it were a winning asset, the key to whatever success he has had. Like many sufferers of the disorder, Mr. Lewis ignores the real mayhem right there in front of him, so fixated is he on the idea, say, that all the bottles of water in his refrigerator be stocked so that the labels always face him. This is a task dispatched to one of three assistants, from whom he demands formal, written apologies when they behave insubordinately.
For years now, the comic detective series “Monk” has equated O.C.D. with intuitive brilliance. We”ve long required a corrective interpretation, and “Flipping Out” is it. Mr. Lewis isn”t a genius of anything. He”s just a delusional jerk.
In a town with one of the highest densities of non-genius-level delusional jerks on the planet, Lewis hardly stands out. And if the best Flipping Out has to offer us in the way of abuse is the occasional chewing out of an underling and some handwritten mea culpas, we”d prefer that Bravo somehow gets its cameras into a major talent agency to document the excruciating burns suffered when an OCD-afflicted agent tosses scorching latte after latte into the face of his assistant, unable to stop until he gets it just right.
- A Los Angeles Speculator Sold on Himself [NY Times]
Expected Denials: How To Make Shit Up Like Jenna Jameson
Apparently, merely yearning for the sight of Scarlett Johansson lovingly devouring pounds of sweaty ladyflesh does not make it so. Johansson”s reps are swiftly, stiffly nipping in the bud all rumors that she will step into porn star Jenna Jameson”s edible panties:
While Jameson has gushed for months that the A-list beauty-cum-Woody Allen muse would be the perfect choice to headline her lurid tale of sex, drugs and award-winning girl-on-girl action […] Johansson denies any and all involvement in the sure-to-be skin-heavy flick.
“There is no truth to this,” Johansson”s spokesperson, Marcel Pariseau, pooh-poohs to MSN Entertainment. “Scarlett has never seen a script nor been approached about this project. She also has no interest in playing this role. It is wishful thinking on the part of Ms. Jameson.”
We are shocked — SHOCKED — at this insinuation that a porn star would be deluded or desperate for publicity. If we didn”t already know the apocalypse was nigh thanks to Scott Baio getting a reality show about his sex life, we”d be battening down the hatches, spraying for locusts and smiting Shiloh Jolie-Pitt for being a false messiah.
- Scarlett, Jessica Solicited For Porn Roles [MSN.com]
- Previously: How To Make Love Like Scarlett Johansson [Defamer]
Airborne Menaces: Putting Pigeons On The Pill
As any Hollywood resident who has ever suffered the heartbreak of discovering that their freshly washed vehicle has been even more freshly shat upon by an incontinent flock of air-rats can tell you, the pigeon menace must be stopped at all costs. Good Morning America this morning looked at the efforts of local anti-pigeon crusaders to slow the filthy avian population explosion by mixing birth control into their feed (spiking their drinks with roofies and then carting off their unconscious bodies was a plan that proved far too resource-intensive), a measure that just might avert a crisis where every block between Western and La Brea is wiped out by a fetid, white blanket of bird shit. Should the pilot program prove successful, a more radical neighborhood clean-up effort involving the mass sterilization of all Hollywood clubgoers could be put in place by the end of the year.
In Brief: Finally, some details about the series of …
Finally, some details about the series of events that led up to ABC News contributor Merry Miller“s amusingly inept interview of Holly Hunter. We had a feeling that a Teleprompter malfunction would figure in the explanation. [TV Newser via Gawker]
Cindy Crawford Topless Bikini Pictures
In 1990, I had my first sexual experience when George Michael released the greatest music video ever “Freedom“. It starred Cindy Crawford and a few other top models of the time. Sure I was alone, but in my perverted little head, I was in the bathtub with Cindy, scrubbing her down, making sure that every nook and cranny wasn’t left untouched. Now maybe that doesn’t qualify as being a real sexual first experience but it sure beats clumsy sex in my mom’s station wagon, so I’m sticking with it! Anyway, here’s Cindy sunbathing topless on a yacht in St. Tropez and as you can see, she still looks amazing. Glad to see that she’s keeping that MILF body of hers in shape!
 |
George Michael “Freedom” Video |
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Short Ends: The Kid Pays For The Picture
· Did Robert Evans pony up some dough to give a little back-pat to his boy on Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day? You bet. Did Big Bob tear up a little when he picked up that Sharpie to write a nice note to a guy that”s like a son to him? You know it, kid. [ad via Digital Variety] · Did you really need an expert to tell you that celebrities feels so protected from life”s problems by fame that they might not realize they have substance abuse problems until they”ve bottomed out? · Inspired by Lindsay Lohan“s recent, racially charged finger-pointing, HuffPo presents Great Moments In The “Black Kid Did It!” History. · Trust us, don”t click on this one.
Bribery: Basking In Feud Afterglow, Trump Tries To Leave $2 Mil On Rosie’s Dresser
Perhaps seeking a little insurance in case NBC gets cold feet about renewing its vows with The Apprentice, Donald Trump tried to snuggle up to arch-enemy Rosie O”Donnell”s ratings-saving bosom. FOXNews.com reports that, as part of a “celeb-driven season,” The Donald offered the pigfaced mess a cool $2 million to work for 12 days on the struggling reality show about boardrooms, professional finger-pointing, and unnatural follicular biology:
The offer, I”m told, came through producer Mark Burnett”s office.
Needless to say, O”Donnell turned Trump down flat.
“I wouldn”t do it for $200 million,” Rosie was said to have responded.
Trump, naturally, denies making the offer, probably to save face; we suspect that all his obsessive talk of what Kelli Carpenter sees in Rosie”s besnouted mug and fleshy embrace lit a curious inferno in Trump”s loins, now cruelly doused by Ro”s latest cold rejection. But buck up, Don — it”s for the best. Sure, she got people watching that moribund morning chatfest again, but we can”t remember the last time anything good came from espousing the mantra, “What”s good enough for The View is good enough for me.”
Lucy Pinder Got Cash! Lots Of It!
Although these are not the hottest Lucy Pinder pictures to date, I felt that because I did two gross Britney Spears posts yesterday I needed to make up for it with some British goodness. Now I don’t know why Lucy is wearing a skirt made out of money but I can only assume that it’s because she likes to be treated as a money hungry sex object. God I love her!
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Clips: Michael Bay: Power Director
Something doesn”t feel quite right about posting a Michael Bay-related video on Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day, but we think we can justify temporarily shifting the spotlight from Ratner to his Transformers counterpart by pointing out that Bay”s seven movies have actually grossed more than those of today”s fauxteur-of-honor, crossing that magical ten-figure barrier in domestic receipts alone. In any case, we”re too impatient to wait until Var gets around to its Bay BDD issue (the full-pager from Jerry Bruckheimer, we”re told, will actually explode when the reader flips to it–but don”t worry, a welder”s mask will be included with every copy) to share this loving tribute to Bayos with his fans.
- Michael Bay: Power Director [YouTube]
- Previously: Billion Dollar Director Brett Ratner: His Party Machine Is Fueled By Ben Franklins [Defamer]
In Brief: “I want to tell girls that cute and dumb … July 30, 2007
“I want to tell girls that cute and dumb isn”t as good as cute and smart.” And with those words, former The Wonder Years star Danica McKellar“s agent”s number was deleted from the address book of every casting executive in town. [Yahoo! News]
In Brief: LAT reporter Geoff Boucher on getting jumped …
LAT reporter Geoff Boucher on getting jumped at Comic-Con: “”You calling me stupid?” “No, I”m not.” Then I stopped talking, because my mouth was bleeding. One of his buddies, standing off to my side, cold-cocked me, and the ring on his fist took a chunk out of my face. I never saw it coming. I was at the emergency room until dawn.” [LAT Comic-Con Blog]
To Do: M.I.A., Goonies, Parking
· Music round-up: Eskimohunter at Spaceland; M.I.A. at Echoplex; Sons & Lovers at the Viper Room. · In celebration of last night”s premiere of Two Coreys, head over to the New Beverly for a double feature of The Goonies, featuring Corey Feldman, and Back to the Future, a movie that should have found a part for Corey Feldman. · Because we think you really need a deeper understanding of the patch of asphalt upon which you park your Prius, we direct you to “Pavement Paradise: American Parking Space” at the Center for Land Use Interpretation, “an exhibit about the liminal, substanceless, and static space of automotive transience.”
Next Week, The Rumor Will Be About Jessica Biel: How To Make Love Like Scarlett Johansson
Fans of Scarlett Johansson — or of her cleavage — must be donkey-punching themselves with glee over rumors that the Oscar-nominated actress may bring that necessary dose of gravitas, youth, and authentic breasts to an upcoming Jenna Jameson biopic. According to the Daily Express, the self-proclaimed “World”s Greatest Newspaper” and bastion of the rigidly fact-based journalism we”ve come to cherish from the British tabs, naturally curvy Johansson has assumed the missionary position and will cleave to the role of the surgically enhanced porn star in a Universal project:.
[The film] is based on Jenna”s bestselling autobiography How To Make Love Like A Porn Star, which followed the 33-year-old from ballet dancer to stripper to film “actress” and multi-millionairess businesswoman.
Jenna is one of the film”s producers and explains:
“I tapped up Scarlett for the part and I”m very excited about the film.
“It was my decision not to play the role because I”ve lived that life already and anyone can play themself.”
Indeed. It takes a unique person to star in Dasha: Like A Geyser and The Passion of the Christies, but it takes someone really special to convey the artist”s inner personal turmoil while wearing a dental dam and enjoying a ten-person fuck train. In fact, Scarlett is the perfect choice — after all, as a muse to New York”s most famous nebbishy director, she”s already got plenty of experience working with a woody.
- Porn Role Shock For Fans Of Scarlett [Daily Express]
