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Jessica Simpson Lacks Hotness Consistency October 31, 2006

jessica simpson fears she’ll grow old and lonely because potential suitors are put off by her celebrity status. Jessica says:
Source

“My fear is that I won’t ever date anybody, because they’ll think I’m going to ruin their career.

“That they’ll be on the cover of every magazine and it will automatically take away their credibility, to be bluntly honest with you.”

And to be bluntly honest with you, jessica simpson, I really think you’re overestimating your career destroying capabilities. You’re not a drunk or a druggy and you usually seem composed in public, so what’s with this career ruining talk? That’s not your problem. Your problem is consistency, or lack thereof. When your looks flip flop from good to bad as often as yours have lately, its no wonder men avoid you. You see, us guys want consistency. We want to know that when we wake up in the morning the girl lying beside us is the same girl we fell asleep with. That’s appealing; girlfriend Russian Roulette isn’t.

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Lucy Pinder 2007 Calendar Pictures

Here’s a preview of Lucy Pinder’s 2007 Calendar and I have to say that I’m speechless. Now I don’t know much about Lucy except for the fact that she refuses to pose topless. What a shame. Those are million dollar breasts she’s hiding under there. OK, maybe not a million but I would definitely pay 10 bucks for lap dance to see them.

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Victoria Beckham Wants To Be A Lady

Posh Spice says she would love to be called Lady Victoria. She told Jo Whiley on Radio 1 on Monday : “Can you imagine? Oh, I’d love that, that would be quite fabulous!” Victoria, 32, said she hoped reports that former England captain David Beckham would be knighted for services to football were true. “It’s just so camp it’s wonderful isn’t it, Lady Victoria. Something like that goes in the paper and you think… that would be quite amazing. Source

Hmm…. I don’t see why Victoria Beckham would need her husband to be knighted to be called a Lady when all she has to do is spend a few hours with me in my love castle. Not only would I make her a Lady, I’d make her a Queen. Take that British Royalty.

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A Rose McGowan Picture Moment

Sexy Rose McGowan Pictures Rose McGowan Is Scary Skinny More Celebrity Pictures

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Hilary Duff Is Ugly On Halloween… Good For Her October 30, 2006

It’s refreshing to see a celebrity actually make them self look bad on Halloween. I mean while the rest of us are busy dressing up like axe murderers and trannies, stars usually opt for the porn star/babe/slut/trashy-nurse look. Well Hilary Duff will have none of that as she is looking positively shitty. I love it! Oh and BTW, her sister Hailey wasn’t actually invited, she just decided to say hello after aerobics class. What??? You thought she was in costume? No, she just naturally looks scary.

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Just In: Pamela Anderson’s Hair Is Fake!

I don’t know what’s up with women having hair extensions but I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and as you can see on Pamela Anderson, ugly. What ever happened to growing your hair the old fashion way? Sure, it may take a lot of time but at least you won’t look like you have bald spots where the extensions are glued. Anyway, I’m a guy and maybe I don’t fully understand the need for women to have instant hair gratification. However, I do know that the last thing I’d want to find in my hands after running my fingers through some “lucky lady’s” hair is a clump of nasty horse tail.

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Tera Patrick Dresses As A Porn Star For Halloween….Yawn

Here are some pictures of Tera Patrick at a Halloween party she hosted at the TAO nightclub. I have to admit, as hot as Tera looks in this slutty lingerie and fishnet outfit, her choice in costumes is pretty lame for the occasion. I mean c’mon! An actual adult entertainer dressing up like a porn star for a Halloween party is no fun! That’s about as imaginative as Paris Hilton going as prostitute, or Mel Gibson dressing up in a KKK getup. My point is that it doesn’t take much costume preparation planning when you just end up going in your work clothes. Am I saying that I’d have preferred if she dressed up in a gorilla suit? No, of course not, but at least wear a pair of cat ears or carry a pitchfork or something!

Porn Stars @ Dave Navarro’s Halloween Party

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An Estella Warren Picture Moment

Michelle Trachtenberg Pictures Emmanuelle Chriqui Pictures Kate Moss Pictures More Celebrity Pictures

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There’s More To Victoria Beckham Than Just Boobs October 27, 2006

You know a lot of people have this pre-conceived notion that Victoria Beckham is just a fake-breasted bitch. However, after watching this funny video of these two kids interviewing her, she comes across as genuine and sincere. Now if the video doesn’t change your impression of her, like it has mine, I guess you’ll get some satisfaction near the end of it when the little buggers kick a soccer ball right into her gut. Anyway, I don’t want to ruin the whole thing for you so have a look.

P.S. I wish I never saw this video because I’ll never be able to make fun of her properly again, she’s far too sweet. Not only am I in love with her breasts. I’m in love with her personality. Damn it!

Watch Video Here

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Carmen Electra Looks Spent

A few of you may remember that awhile back I did a post commenting on the announcement of The Carmen Electra Prepaid MasterCard and Carmen Electra Gift MasterCard cards. Well, for all of you who have been waiting for it with baited breath, it’s finally arrived. The launch was last night, and here is the once-lovely Carmen Electra looking as used as one of her credit cards in the hands of a teenage girl on a shopping spree.

Oh yes, Carmen is moving up in the world, going from being the poster child for plastic boobs to the new poster child for, er, plastic.

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An Alessandra Ambrosio Picture Moment

Hot Alessandra Ambrosio Pictures Alessandra Ambrosio To Make Me Feel Better Model Izabel Goulart Picture Moment Laetitia Casta Pictures More Celebrity Pictures

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A Drunken Avril Lavigne Shows Off Her Panties October 26, 2006

Avril Lavigne has officially graduated from small-time party girl to full fledged drunken bar floozy with these latest pictures. You know you’ve hit the big leagues when the Paparazzi can actually catch you drunk and passed out in the back seat of a car, with your panties out there for the whole world to see. I wonder if Avril and Paris Hilton got together recently and traded career tips, seeing as Paris now sings, and Avril really does nothing but hang out in bars and gets drunk. I’m not complaining though. I don’t mind seeing Avril’s panties. I’d just rather see them on my bedroom floor.

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Evangeline Lilly’s Little Arms Are A Big Problem

Evangeline Lilly looks like she’s having a tough time with that surf board. At first, I thought it was because her board must be at least 3 feet wide, making it almost impossible for her to get her arm around the thing. Then I realized the board wasn’t the problem. It’s her freakishly short little arms! I can’t believe I never noticed this before! I suggest she uses her boyfriend’s board from now on. It’s Hobbit sized, just like her arms.

Previous:
Evangeline Lilly Bikini Pictures

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Ashlee Simpson’s New Face= Free Shoes

Here’s some hot girl promoting Sketchers shoes. Oh, wait! That’s Ashlee Simpson. Man, I really miss hating her for being Jessica’s ugly little wannabe. As you all know, I now love her in ways that are far too inappropriate to mention on this family-friendly site. Anyway, that’s a lesson to all you young, impressionable girls out there: if you have major self-esteem issues, just go ahead and get a plastic surgeon to rearrange your face. Really, it’ll do wonders for your social life (and maybe even land you an endorsement deal with a major shoe company). Hey, if it worked for Ashlee, it could work for you too!

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Rihanna: Stripper Basics 101

Is Rihanna contemplating a career change? After seeing these concert pictures, I’m left wondering if she’s more interested in singing or stripping. She’s definitely got the onstage simulated sex acts down pat. For example we have the reverse cowgirl, the spread eagle, the doggy style and whatever the hell you call this one. Yup, it looks like Rihanna has passed Stripper Basics 101. Now quit teasing and get naked!

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An Almudena Fernandez Picture Moment October 25, 2006

Izabel Goulart Pictures Josie Maran Pictures Sexy Carolina “Pampita” Ardohain Pictures More Celebrity Pictures

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Paris Hilton Returns To Her Roots

Washington, Oct 25: Socialite-turned-actress Paris Hilton and ex-Playboy model Carmen Electra are hiring themselves out for New Year’s Eve parties, but only if you manage to rake in the amount of money they demand. Hilton will host a bash in either Miami, New York or Los Angeles for whoever manages to pay 100,000 dollars plus other expenses and a private jet. Source

Sniff. Sniff. Is that desperation in the air? Or is it the glorious stink of a career finally hitting rock bottom? That’s right, it’s cause for celebration, kids. Paris Hilton is officially done. She began her career as a whore and, fittingly, has decided to end it like one too.

I’m as stumped as you why Paris would need the money (are weed and herpes cream really that expensive these days?), but it’s likely just another desperate, transparent publicity ploy. But why resort to this, especially with her album lighting up the Billboard charts and high art like National Lampoon’s Pledge This! ready to set movie screens on fire? I mean, she has so much to look forward to.

Paris Hilton Vogue Magazine

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Scarlett Johansson & Gisele Bundchen Getting Kinky?

Here’s Scarlett Johansson and Gisele Bundchen at some celeb function. I’m not sure what it is exactly, but it seems to have a fetish theme to it. What else could those masks be for? Actually, I’d like to think they wear the masks so they can have anonymous lesbian orgies in the bathroom, but that’s just wishful thinking on my part. Or is it?

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Pamela Anderson & Denise Richards Are ‘Blonde And Blonder’

If you’re wondering why on Earth Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards would ever cross paths, here’s the explanation. Pamela Anderson is teaming up with Denise Richards in a return to the big-screen for both in new film called ‘Blonde And Blonder.’ And though that sounds like a porn title - it isn’t. I don’t think. Source

I hope this is a porn movie, because that’s the only way they’re going to sell any tickets for this stink bomb. Yeah I know what you’re thinking. How can I condemn a movie that I know next to nothing about? It’s simple actually. Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards aren’t good actors. If this were 1998, that fact would be irrelevant seeing as Pam was still smoking hot back then. Well this is 2006, and let me tell you, times have changed. Denise still looks pretty good, but Pam looks like she should be waiting tables in a truck stop somewhere in Oklahoma, not starring in a boobie-comedy. I think it’s time for her to hang up the implants and call it a career.

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A Kristanna Loken Picture Moment

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Rachel Bilson Is Playing Hard To Get

Rachel Bilson has an unusual way of attracting men - she ignores them. The actress - who stars in new movie The Last Kiss alongside Zach Braff - says she is the exact opposite of her character Kim when it comes to seducing guys.Rachel said: Source

“She’s a typical college girl but then she’s attracted to this older guy so there is more going on with her. Most college girls are just trying to date the frat guy but she wants to be a little bit more mature and adult in a way - that’s all. She added: “I wouldn’t cross the line and I wouldn’t pursue it like she would. But you definitely do your own thing.”

“ I would properly ignore him but that would be my way of trying to get the guy.”

Well, considering that Rachel Bilson never returns my calls or emails, I can only assume she likes me. Hell, she’s been ignoring me for a full year. She must love me!

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I Hope Elizabeth Hurley’s Wedding Dress Will Be See Through Too October 24, 2006

BRITISH model, actor and beachwear designer Elizabeth Hurley will marry Indian businessman Arun Nayar next February, The Observer has reported. The wedding, to be held at the exclusive 18th century Devi Garh Palace in Rajasthan, is expected to involve camels and elephants, lavish feasts and an exchange of vows at a specially constructed mandap (flower-bedecked platform). Source

Congratulations to the happy couple! Barring any incidents of guests being trampled to death by a runaway pachyderm, everything should go just swell. I have to say that Elizabeth Hurley’s future husband is one lucky guy. Most of us can only wish that our wives looked as good as her at age 41. I’m a little disappointed though. Liz has been known to show off her assets at past public events like this and this. In this latest picture though, she’s ruining a perfectly good see through top. How about sharing the joy of your upcoming wedding with the rest of us, and lose the bra!

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Lindsay Lohan’s Better Off With Women

LINDSAY LOHAN’s wild partying is worrying her grandmother, who insists all the young actress needs is to find love. The MEAN GIRLS star, who recently split from restaurant heir HARRY MORTON, is often hitting headlines with her socialising, and now MARILYN LOHAN has voiced her fears for the 20-year-old. She says, Source

“If Lindsay would get herself a stable boyfriend, I think everything would be better. It’s such a shame she’s no longer with Harry. He was good for her and she seemed more settled. “She needs a relationship to keep her on the right track.”

Grandma Lohan may mean well, but she’s giving some pretty bad advice. I’m willing to bet that behind every drunken night, every wicked hangover, and every meaningless casual sex encounter Lindsay Lohan’s been through in the past while, there’s been some selfish rich boy, forcing tequila shots down her throat. Men are the cause of Lindsay’s problems, so the last thing she needs right now is another one. Lindsay should do herself a favor, and find a nice mullet haired, butch lesbian to get cozy with. I’m sure she’ll keep her in line, and out of trouble. I’d much rather it be the hot porno lesbian type, but we all know they’re more trouble than guys.

Lindsay Lohan In Style Magazine

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Avril Lavigne Looks Good On Her Back

Here’s Avril Lavigne looking pretty good in the latest Italian Vanity Fair. It appears to me that she’s been keeping a low profile the last few weeks ever since she was filmed spitting on a photographer. It’s probably a good idea too, considering that people now rate her lower on the totem pole than Paris Hilton. I think it’s time Avril gives Hugh Hefner a call. A Playboy photo shoot may be the only way she can redeem herself at this point. However, I’d prefer Hustler.