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Jessica Alba Without Makeup September 29, 2006

Before I get a slew of frothy comments telling me what a stupid jealous bitch I am, let me say first that I do think Jessica Alba is pretty. That said, it’s amazing what a little makeup does for a girl, because I wouldn’t have given this chick a sideways glance if I saw her walking past me in the airport. Well, maybe I would, to make fun of that lame-ass ball cap, but not because she looks hot or anything.

More pics of a remarkably plain Alba below.

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Jessica Alba Is “The Most Kissable”

Sultry actress Alba has been voted the celeb men would most like to pucker up with, reports the Sun. Her gorgeous body and perfect features had already made her a sensation among male fans, but now another one of her many assets - her perfect pout helped Jessica beat off competition from Angelina Jolie’s luscious lips to top a new poll by Colgate to mark Oral Health Month.
Source

Here’s another one of those useless polls that companies put together to attract attention to their brand by generating some free publicity. I don’t know what Colgate has to do with lips or kissing considering they make toothpaste, but whatever, it’s not like you can make an interesting poll by asking which celebrity has the worst snaggletooth, or biggest plaque problem. Anyway, it’s nice to see Jessica Alba beat out Angelina Jolie for the title of most kissable because I’m sure Angelina’s freakishly huge lips were the favorite. Not to say I don’t like them, I actually love those big suckers even more than Jessica’s. It’s just that kissing doesn’t come to mind when I think about them.

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Avril Lavigne: From Lickable To Despicable

Well, as most of you know, Avril Lavigne is not the classiest celebrity. Yeah, she may try to convince us otherwise with her new sophisticated image, but get a few drinks in her, and she’s back to her old obnoxious self. That’s why it doesn’t surprise me that she spit on a photographer, as seen in this video acquired from TMZ.com. What does surprise me is that she actually has the nerve to tell one of her fans to fuck off! Not even that useless skank Paris Hilton is that crude. I never thought it possible that my little Avril, for whom I held in such high regard this past year, could stoop so low, but there you have it. It’s official - Avril Lavigne is worse than Paris Hilton….x 100.

Avril Lavigne Spitting Video

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A Sofia Vergara Picture Moment September 28, 2006

Sofia Vergara Pictures Sofia Vergara Pictures Past Picture Moments

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Victoria Beckham’s Breasts Are Ready To Pop

OMG! I am speechless. Every single time I think Victoria Beckham’s breasts can’t look anymore artificial, round and retarded, she goes ahead and outdoes herself. I’m more impressed with her than ever!

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Hilary Duff’s Not Against Going Under The Knife

Hilary Duff has defended stars who have plastic surgery, admitting that she would also go under the knife if she ever felt it necessary. The “Wake Up” singer insists people should have the right to improve their looks if they want to and hasn’t ruled out going under the knife herself when she gets older. She revealed to The Sun newspaper, “I don’t have anything against people who have surgery. If I get older and feel uncomfortable about something then maybe I will have it. I never say never.” Source

You know I am a little disappointed in my 14-year-old niece’s role model. Here I thought Hilary Duff was a positive influence on young girls and boy was I wrong. Admitting that if she felt it was necessary, she would have plastic surgery, pretty much sends the wrong message to kids don’t you think? Ok, now that I am done pretending to care, knowing that Hilary is not against going under the knife makes me wonder, will we soon have a bigger breasted Hilary Duff? Woohoo!

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Willa Ford “The Bad Girl Of Pop” Or Just Plain Bad?

I haven’t watched ‘Dancing With The Stars‘ this year because for starters I couldn’t care less about people who can do the “cha cha” and Stacy Keibler is not on it anymore. However, I decided to check out who is on the show this time around and came across this pleasant looking girl by the name of Willa Ford. Now I never really heard of Willa but her bio on the ABC website says she is the self-professed “bad girl of pop.” I guess that explains the fake breasts, skanky armband tattoo and the reason no one has ever heard one of her songs. Until now! Yes, I have found the Willa Ford music videos that the music industry were trying to keep away from us. Have a look and find out why.

Willa Ford - A Toast to Men
Willa Ford - Did Ya Understand That

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A Jodie Marsh Picture Moment September 27, 2006

Jodie Marsh Pictures Jodie Marsh Is An Animal Lover Past Picture Moments

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Victoria Bekcham Gives Her Legs A Break

Now this is something I haven’t seen Victoria Beckham in. You see, usually she’s showing off her skinny legs and body in slutty dresses, so to see her in this outfit has thrown me off my game. Not to say I don’t think she looks hot because I kind of like those baggy pants. It’s different. And there is just enough space for me to hide.

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Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures

Here’s Kate Beckisnale and her very lucky husband enjoying their time on the beach. Now usually this would be the time I would say how hot Kate is and how much I would love to bamboozle her but I can’t because her husband has his filthy mitts all over her and is ruining what could have been a precious bikini moment for me. That son of a bitch. Do us a favour. Next time get a room. God knows you can afford it.

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Vanessa Minnillo Bikini Pictures

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Not Even Bad Hair Can Ruin Jessica Alba’s Sex Appeal

Over the last few years, Jessica Alba has been spoiling us with her hotness. Whether it be in a movie, a bikini or out in public, we have become accustomed to seeing her look her best at all times. That is until now. It’s amazing how one bad haircut can ruin a girl’s complete sex appeal. A regular girl that is. Not, Jessica Alba. What do you think, I’m nuts? Let’s just pretend she just got out of bed from a night of drunken lesbian hammock sex and forgot to do her hair.

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A Kim Smith Picture Moment

Kim Smith Pictures Kim Smith Pictures Past Picture Moments

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Mandy Moore Is A Different Kind Of Cute September 26, 2006

You know after seeing these new pictures of Mandy Moore arriving at LAX airport, I had to go back and revisit her old music videos Crush and Candy. Man, she was so cute back then. I mean really cute! Not to say that she isn’t now. She is. Just not in the same way. Now Mandy is like the plump, or rather “healthy” girlfriend you sit around eating ice cream with while snuggling up against to keep to you warm at night.

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Jewel’s Jewels Will Make You Dip Into Your Pocket

I’m all for charities. Especially when it deals with my favorite body part “breasts” and who better of a spokeswoman for “breasts” than the very breasty Jewel Kilcher. Unfortunately, Jewel’s breasts didn’t make an appearance at the ‘Stop Breast Cancer For Life’ conference since they are well hidden under her clothing but considering she has given us years of breast lovin’, I say we get involved and donate money to help advance the treatment of breast cancer and get rid of this nasty disease forever. Fellas, Jewel’s breasts are counting on you.

Stop Breast Cancer For Life Campaign

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Petra Nemcova’s Boyfriend Is Inconsiderate In More Ways Than One

Supermodel Petra Nemcova is reportedly worried about the state of her relationship with James Blunt after he backed out of a charity event at the last minute in favour of working on his new album. James had planned to accompany Petra to The Next Model party she was hosting during London Fashion Week to raise funds for tsunami charity the Happy Hearts Foundation - but then cancelled. Source

So let me get this straight. Supermodel Tsunami Survivor Petra Nemcova’s boyfriend James Blunt didn’t show up to her fundraiser in which the proceeds were going to help victims of the tsunami because he had to make more crap music? Oh man! This is bad news people! James Blunt is working on polluting the airwaves once again!

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A Rachel Bilson Picture Moment

Rachel Bilson Pictures Rachel Bilson Pictures Past Picture Moments

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Looks Like Fergie’s Solo Career Is “Hair” To Stay September 25, 2006

Here’s Fergie and her hairy armpits at the release party for her latest album “The Dutchess“. I would like to apologize to Fergie in advance for posting this since I know she hates when bloggers write about her… but this is absolutely gross. That’s not one or two day armpit stubble. That’s neglect.

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Scarlett Johansson: She Does Oil Changes Too!

I love Scarlett Johansson. Personally, I think she is one of the most beautiful celebrities ever. However, it pains me when I see her in awful outfits like this mechanic-like uniform. She’s a hot young actress, she should dress like one! And I know she can. Remember the famous red Golden Globe dress? Well, in case you‘ve been living under a rock, here it is. Ah sweet memories!

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Carmen Electra Is About To Make Women “Sexy”

Carmen Electra is set to add author to her impressive resume after writing a new book revealing her sexy secrets. The model/actress has written Carmen Electra : How To Look Sexy, which is set to hit bookstores in December, according to American publication Life + Style. Source

Yes! This is good news fellas. Finally, someone who’s qualifed to teach women how to look and act like a slut. Sorry, I mean look and act “Sexy”. I’m sure Carmen Electra will cover the really important basics like “How to choose the biggest implants” and “How wearing less is more” and let’s not forget “How to marry a loser. Twice!” This is definitely a must have.

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A Lacey Chabert Picture Moment

Past Picture Moments

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Scarlett Johansson’s InStyle Spread September 23, 2006

Scarlett Johansson graces the cover of the October issue of InStyle magazine, and talks about her new movie, her career, and — of course — her boobies. God knows that’s the only reason I’m putting these up. I’ve learned over the years that people like boobies, or a hint of booby, or a nip slip or cleavage or even a rogue third nipple. I actually have a master plan to take over the world, and it doesn’t include the Death Star or militant Islamic groups — I’ll be using boobies. “The ultimate weapon of mass destruction.” I won’t go into details, because there’s some complicated math and some science stuff involved, but rest assured: one day, the world will be mine. And my boobies will rule supreme.

More shots from the InStyle pictorial below.

scarlett instyle october_400x541.jpg

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US Weekly’s Hot Hollywood: Fresh 15 Pictures September 22, 2006

Christina Aguilera Carmen Electra Willa Ford Paris Hilton

To close off the week, I bring you some US Weekly’s Hot Hollywood: Fresh 15 event photos. Now, I apologize in advance for putting Paris Hilton next to the likes of Christina Aguilera, Carmen Electra and Willa Ford, since she is the furthest thing from being “Hot” or “Fresh” but I’m impressed by her cleavage. I don’t know how she got those little boobies pushed up so high but she did and for that she gets a spot on the bottom row.

Have a good weekend!

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Tara Reid’s New Implants?

The ‘American Pie’ actress checked into a Beverly Hills clinic on September 7 to have her first set of implants replaced with smaller ones, according to In Touch Weekly magazine. Tara also allegedly had had some other cosmetic surgery carried out on her stomach to remove some unsightly marks caused by an earlier liposuction procedure. Tara is now recovering from the surgery at her home. Source

Well, judging from these pictures of Tara Reid at the Vintage LA 2006 fashion show, it doesn’t look like she had her breasts reduced. It also looks like she misplaced her hairbrush. And lastly, since I’m tired, and feel like being mean, I’ll also point out that it looks like she must have forgotten to say “It’s 3am, time for my beauty sleep” after downing her 11th martini the night before. She looks worse than ever.

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Mischa Barton “America’s Style Queen”

Mischa Barton was crowned America’s style queen at Life + Style magazine’s second Stylemaker’s Awards in Los Angeles last night (14Sep06). The pretty actress beat out wild-child Lindsay Lohan and Jennifer Lopez to claim the Stylemaker of The Year prize, which was handed to her by magazine editor Debra Birnbaum. Birnbaum admits the choice was an easy one for Life + Style fashion bosses: “Mischa is always stylish and she continues to set trends from head to toe, both on and off the red carpet.” Source

WTF?!! Mischa Barton most stylish? I don’t know what this magazine editor is smoking but clearly she doesn’t have a clue about women’s fashion. Ladies, I’m here to tell you that there is nothing attractive about the way Mischa dresses. Frankly I find it nauseating. Some people may say the patterns on her clothes are “unique”, but I say they’re dangerous! Mischa’s outfits should come with their own “may cause seizures” warning. Speaking of which, I’m starting to feel a little funny. Quick! Someone put a wallet in my mouth, I’m about to swallow my tongue!